Pause and Think About It!

Today while working on projects for a new client, I have spent a lot of time listening to some of the gospel music I listened to growing up. It brought back a lot of memories and the majority of them were great.

There was something about those old songs, that moved the angels and people were brought to worship. The impact of those days is still felt today, and yet some try to get rid of the past, bury it under a pile of 'a new day, a new spirit, change' and think they are doing the right thing.

I am sorry to be a downer, but a lot of the music of today just fills up space. If you cannot sing the glory down, and lift each other, as you lift the praises up in songs that are just repetition of one phrase over and over and over... then you are missing the whole point of the purpose of music.

In the Bible, there were singers and musicians appointed to lead the way into battle ahead of the armies. Think about that. We hide behind those who are 'stronger, more spiritual, bro so and so, etc' when really it is the job of the praisers to lead the way into the battle. However, it is apparent a lot of the time, that the singers, and musicians, have not prepared themselves, and they lead in uncertain directions, waiting on someone else to take charge. Music orginally was not to be entertainment or space filler, it was meant to change the atmosphere.

Saul, when he was troubled, called for David to come and play that his spirits may be settled. Most churches now, music is an after thought, or something to do before the preaching or during the offering. And frankly, most of the music of today, does not have the same impact as some of the songs of the past.

Gone are the days of Holy, Holy, Holy, The Old Rugged Cross, Crimson Stream, and An Old Account Was Settled. Gone are the days when grandma would wail from the back of the church in agony over someone else's soul. We want it compact, fresh, high impact, and if it isn't... somehow we do not think it belongs. We leave people fighting the battles on their own, and we do our little shout, jump, and then its time to head for some fellowship time.

The difference in yesterday's music from today, isn't that people of today cannot write good songs; some are very good, but for the most part it comes down to the inspiration of the song, and the anointing.

I realize not all songs of today are lacking power and not all of them do not touch lives, but it has been a long time since I was in a revival that went past 9:00pm. Yes, I know people work, yes I know that we have to get up in the morning or have worked hard all day, but there was a day when being in the presence of God was enough to sustain us, and we would get up do what we had to do the next day and come back still refreshed. It changed lives, and you are reading this today, because in that 'past' someone was moved on by the spirit, and they led others and that is why you are here.

In the 1970's the music began to change, and some were worried about this new beat that was similar to the hippies and then disco came along. But the praises still went up, churches were packed, and the truth was still preached. In the 80s, we still had great songs and there was still an anointing, and bus ministries brought in 1000s of children to Sunday School which impacted lives and they brought their families. In the 90s, the anointing wavered a bit, there were a lot of programs on how to do this or that, some wanted to see change, and yet, there was still revival. Then along came 2000 and people wanted change, the programs weren't working; people threw out the standards by which we had been raised thinking that was the reason, and they started making songs to go with this 'new image' the church was trying to achieve. Gone were the hours of weeping in the altar, gone was the wail from the back pew, that just wasn't cool anymore. Instead we brought in light shows, smoke, cranked the volume up, took off our ties and suits, and were surprised when the churches didn't explode with people. Churches going through transition blame it on this one or that, or the fact that 'people just don't love God anymore.'

The reality is, we changed. We got worried about what everyone else would think of us, and we climbed in the box with them. Let's have peace, joy, grace, mercy, but lets leave out the meat of the word. Lets change the words we say to better reflect the change in society; don't want to offend anyone. The message didn't change all that much, but the method of delivery did.

Just this past week I heard of a church that if you happen to miss the service, they will 'text you the message.' Really? Is that what we have become. I love technology, but it is just a tool!

I wonder what would happen, if we stepped away from the computers, the multi-level sound systems, the "online pre-chewed by someone else before us" messages, and actually set aside time to really pray about what God wants. I wonder what would happen if we picked up an old song book and started from the front and sang "Where could I go but to the Lord." But, instead we flip on the radio, "oh that song has a good beat, and its up to date, and I think its cool, so lets learn that one."

And so they attempt to teach it to the church, while half the congregation sits there like they don't know what is going on. Because they don't.

Maybe we all need to go "back to our old landmarks" the places where "we" first found God and remember what is used to be like. Have a few "retro" services and let the glory take precedence over the offering, or the program. Lets spend time feeling out the spirit, rather than checking our email for today's message and figuring that the one you have been sent is good enough for the members.

But I know, we just don't have time anymore...

for things that matter most...

for lives that need direction...

for peace of mind knowing where we are headed...

for that one LOST sheep.

Pause and Think About It!

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Decisions, Decisions

We all make numerous decisions everyday from what time we wake up, the clothing we put on, the food we eat, or what we do with our time. We rationalize the decisions we know we shouldn't be making until we are satisfied that we are okay with it. Maybe some of these are familiar to you.

It doesn't matter if I have one more piece of cake.

No one is watching me, so if I do it just this once.

It is just a white lie.

It doesn't hurt to look.

Well, I need the money, so this one time...

Well, if you heard what so and so said, then you would know why I am doing this.

So, I drive a little faster than the speed limit, I am in a hurrry.

It is for my kids, they deserve it.

I will pray thru, I am just not ready now.

I was pricked in my heart today when I read a blog online. I want you to read it as well.

Lust, Pride, and Simplicity Lust is clearly tied to pride (and no, this is not the beginning of my new hip-hop lyrics). We/I lust after things we can't have but don't really want them as much as we just want to know we could have them. Actually, I usually want to take it a step further and fully attain what it is my selfish nature desires before I realize that I don't want it.
Everything we obtain in life comes with something attached. The typical saying is that it's impossible to find something good with no strings attached. Unfortunately, that phrase is usually what old business men say and it is rarely used in the context of the three major sins of our selfish nature.
The lust of eyes may bring us to find fancy new electronics, but they come with a price tag as well as serious time investment that begins to control our lives.
The lust of the flesh may bring me to a buffet, but I can't eat all that food and feel ready to win a speed race directly afterward.
And, finally, the pride of life may convince me that I've got some pretty damn good plans for myself before I realize that I would have been happier had I followed God' will.
You can simply call it consequences if you want to spare yourself the description.
True freedom and joy will arrive when I not only know but also act upon the fact that simplicity and submission of control are more powerful than anything my lust and pride can find.
The above was written by a popular rock star. I quoted it as he wrote it.

He made the decision and he realizes it has cost him. However, we must realize that sometimes the decisions we make affect not just us, but our children, our friends, our family, our church.

I know of a lady who 'goes to church' and has for years, but she has never really been completely sold out. Many have worked with her and her family but it always comes down to she doesn't have time, she has things to do, she is sick, etc. Yet, she is always calling someone for prayer. "Please pray for my sons, they are in jail again. Please say a prayer for my son, he is on drugs, and I don't understand it when he used to have the holy ghost."

Decisons, that were made most likely cost this family their souls.

I have seen other families come into church, but they are for the most part ignored, despite the fact on a Sunday morning, it is usually the pews they sit in that are filled with visitors; but they are not good enough to help out in sunday school , or to sing with the choir.

And then we wonder when those who at one time were so full of God, never come back, because of something that was said that hurt to the core of their soul. It is easy to blame them personally, but the decision a minister made left them feeling they were not welcome. They ask for prayer from friends and family, but their kids are no longer serving God. It doesn't matter that he used to be a pastor, he wasn't good enough because he could no longer support practices that he felt were wrong, so they stopped coming and before long it ended in a broken marriage, and a family destined for hell. Is it their fault, or does the ministry hold some responsibilty as well?

The decisions made possibly cost the church the revival you have been asking God to bring for years. But it isn't your fault, how could it be. If they loved God they would be here, even if they felt like they were not wanted.

Are their things we are doing today that will negatively affect our church, our children, our future? I would hope not, but we all make decisions that bring change in our lives, and most often bring an effect on our future that will cost us heavily.

Lust, pride, and impatience are connected to decisions we make that are usually wrong, but do we even care anymore? God wake us up somehow before it is too late and we are responsible for another soul.


While thinking of this today, I came across a message from First Apostolic Church in Nashville, TN. It was very much worth listening to. It was entitled 'A Decision for a Lifetime.' What is your decision going to be?

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Bring Back Truth and Holiness! Or Get Out Of The WAY!

I admit, tonight I am angry. In times past, some have told me I am too angry to be 'apostolic.' That somehow I shouldn't rock the boat or that I am trying to bring division. And on some level they may be right. However, there is a pervasiveness happening amongst our faith that is sickening and I feel like vomiting all over their shoes.

We like to be passive in our relations with others rather than standing up for what we believe. We think somehow if we keep being nice and play the game that somehow people will be won to Christ. Meanwhile our churches, our fellowships, our homes are filled with lies of the enemy and we serve God out of convenience rather than duty and honor. Even if we do win a few, how long will it be before they are just another face in the crowd as we line our pocketbooks?

The past several months I have been faced with trials that have seemed insurmountable. If it had not been for a few online friends, I may have succumbed to the pressures of life. I don't really have friends left in the church I attend, with the exception of a few who are related by marriage or such like. Even they have grown quiet rather than stand up and say the changes happening are wrong. I have sought solace with a few online who have seemed to be dedicated and true. I have spent countless hours being a friend to those who have been hurting and in turn being lifted myself. But I find myself seething tonight as I find out most of what I was led to believe was lies.

I want to say tonight in all sincerity, that it doesn't matter how much you drop in the offering plate. It doesn't matter if you sit on the front row of your church and dance everytime the music plays, or shout and amen the preacher. If you do not live the life when you leave that building, or you lie to your brother or sister, even the small lies, then you are not right with God.
It is a sad commentary the stories I am hearing from so-called friends who want to serve God, live holy, and even raise their children up right, but when they are faced with indecision or something hurts their feelings, their holiness and truth goes out the door. They give in to the pressures of life simply because they think they can repent later and that God will be okay with it all. We seem to forget that while it is true God is a God of Love, He is also a Consuming Fire!

Our spirituality means nothing if we play the piano on Sunday but do not dress, act, or live holy the rest of the week. We can sing and shout and run the aisles, but if we think we are fooling those around us, we really aren't. And God is not fooled at all.

How can you talk about how much you love the Lord, but cannot wait until you meet so-and-so, and when you do you excuse your behavior as an accident? The bible says emphatically not to lie. It also says "he that knoweth to do right, and doeth it not, to him it is a sin." Yes, I realize some of the doctrines we have held up as truth are only our personal convictions and we cannot back up with scripture. However, I have seen so many compromises over the past several years that have been swept under the rug. And while it may be true that this or that is not a sin, when we have let down on what we have believed or been taught in the past there is a destructive spirit that has come into our midst. The church is no longer a place of refuge but a social gathering.

I say in the fear of God, that if we do not get our act together and quickly, then the fire of God will refuse to fall upon our minstries and He will take his spirit from us. We are kidding ourselves if we think we are what we are supposed to be. Mark it down, judgement is going to come to the house of God. It just depends on whether we are staying holy or in the way of the move God wants to bring to his church.

There is a reason the scripture is in the bible that says "two will be in the field, one will be taken and the other left, two will be grinding at the wheel, and one will be taken and the other left, two will be in the bed, and one will be taken and the other left." Somehow, we have forgotten that the easiest sin to do is to lie. It comes when we make excuses for our behavior, or when we get caught doing something we know we shouldn't, or when we pretend to befriend someone, all the while knowing we are only friends because we want something from them. The second easiest is apathy. That word simply means we don't care enough about what is happening around us to do anything about it. We cover it up by saying. "We are praying for you," or "let God handle it." Truthfully, we know usually that something isn't right, or that we are complacent, but it is too much of a bother to do anything, so we sit and grow lukewarm. There is a possibility we will regain our fire, but the person on the pew next to you may not. I guess that is okay with us.

I wonder what would happen in our churches, if God took the blinders off our eyes and we could see every sin that each individual, in the pews or the pulpit, has in their life, floating over their head. Would we scream? Would we still listen to our pastor? Would we run from the church in terror that everyone knows my sins? Or would we run to the altars and take those next to us with us?

I know in my own life, I am far from perfect. There are things in my life that I struggle with and that I desperately need God's help with. However, I am so sick of phonies and pharisees, that I have come to the determination that I am going to do something to change things. I realize I will not be popular, and most will hate me most likely. But something has to change. It has to return to the values and principles that were ingrained in us, when we first found God.

We don't need new programs or methods to reach the lost. What worked in the past, still will work. We don't need new songs, because the songs we sing are outdated and boring. If God blessed and the power fell back then, it still will when the sisters cries unde the anointing as she sings. We don't need to add strobe lights, and rock bands to our churches to get the young people involved. We need to teach them respect for the house of God and get them in the prayer rooms on their knees where we should be too.

It seems to me as the size of our congregations grew, and as we replaced those hard wooden pews with padded seats, we also padded our message and we pushed God out the door. Bloody, disgusting truth of what happened on Calvary has been replaced with a pasteurized version that everyone can swallow. Basically, we have put makeup on our ministry and sexed up our religion.

But, it isn't the prettiest saint that is going to be the first in line thru those pearly gates. It is the pure and undefiled before God that are going to be the only ones making it in. Truth is not a multiple choice decision. It is either truth, or it is a lie. We need to get back to core values, spending as much time in prayer and bible reading as we do in paying attention to the news or to our favorite tv show or even novel. Actually, if we spent half as much time in serving God, as we did in other things, we would see a revival that would shake our world.

Someone is going to do it. Is it going to be you? Is it going to be me? If you cannot stand living holy and doing the right thing, then step aside, because it is coming and if you aren't part of it, you will be run over. So get in it, or get out of the way.

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When God Isn't Enough

I am sure some have seen the title and already are judging and saying that God is always enough, but before you respond, read what I have written.
We preach it, sing it, shout it from the mountains that God is enough. He has the ability to carry us, provide, deliver, heal, and provide all we need. While that is true, there are times when God is not enough.

Maybe to some I am having a pity party, but I am not alone in that.

I am going thru things right now that are crushing me beneath the weight. Some of you may know some of it; very few know most of it, and no one knows all of it, but me and God. As a general rule, I stay vague about myself. I am not looking for sympathy, and I do my best to keep my private life private. I guess in a way you could say I am bipolar, because what most of you know about me online is not the complete me if you knew me personally. However, I will not share all of it, but there are times when God is not enough, and I want to explain why I feel that way. I do this with great trepidation but, I am tired of bottling it up.

I have had health issues a long, long time. Almost fourteen years have gone by since I found myself going from healthy, comfortable, and constantly ministering, to where I was too sick to get off a couch. It was a literal hell. Doctors couldn't figure it out. Family and friends walked away, and the church... well they acted like I was a leper. I won't go into more of that now, but maybe someday.

After several years of the loneliness that comes from multiple health issues and people not knowing what to say when God doesn't heal, a friend came into my life. She was apostolic, involved in a music ministry, and at the time she became my everything. Within a few months she rescued me and took me to where she lived, married me of course, and changed my life forever. I loved her children as my own, and for the past several years, they have been my children.

Somehow, we ended up back where I was from, and we came with no preconditions. Since my wife was vey musically talented, she offered to help, and I offered to help any way I could. I had at one time assisted the former pastor. I knew the ropes. I could offer advice, or do whatever was asked of me. Somehow, they got the idea, not from us, that we were there to 'take over' as someone so nicely put it. That was never the plan, there was no plan. However, from that moment, we were treated as outsiders from most in the church and especially the pastor. I didn't understand it. I tried to pray about it, seek advice, but none of it mattered.

I did what I could, but I sat on the sidelines and watched that church die. Oh, it still has a pulse, but its not at all what it used to be, or what it could be. Don't offer to help though. Unless you have deep pockets you won't be considered.
I know I sound bitter, and perhaps I am a little.

Anyhow, over the past couple years, after seeking the mind of God about leaving, staying, or what to do in general, my wife and I decided to start a church. It wasn't just about how we were treated, people were showing up at our house who we didn't know and asking us about God. We did a lot of soul searching, tried to leave, prayed for a new minister to come, did everything because we did not want to start trouble.

However, last spring, everything started falling into place. Someone I had never met called and offered to pay six months on a building if I could find one. My wife was excited, telling friends at work, people in the grocery stores, and planning to take a big family photo and splash it all over the newspaper.

It was exciting, we found a building we could use for up to five services a month for $250.00.

Three weeks later, my wife comes home from work, tells me she and the kids are moving to Texas, she has another 'man' and that we should have never been married. Around the same time, the doctors diagnosed me with leukemia.

My whole world crumbled.

I tried to find comfort in the church, but I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. It was basically non-existant. It still is. Yes, I still go to church, but for the most part I don't see any reason to. The few people at church who do talk to me are 'praying for you.' Although there are those who tell me the leukemia and the divorce is because I am in rebellion to the pastor, or that I must be running from God.

Please understand, I know I am not the only one who goes through trials, I know I am not the only one who is sick. I also know that when I had friends going through things, I was there for them. I do not understand why they cannot be there for me.

There is a lot of things I do not understand, and yet, his word gives direction to issues like these but it seems that part of the bible does not matter.

Bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.

For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.

For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not. Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee? Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.

I guess what I am trying to say is we cannot pick and choose which scriptures we listen to. I have served God my entire life. I grew up on a church pew, I have been a minister, evangelist, sunday school teacher and director, youth pastor, and on and on. Yet, I am like so much drivel tossed aside when trouble came to me.

And I wonder, is it just me? Did I do something to deserve this? Or is this how everyone from new convert to elderly saint gets treated when the 'church' doesn't know what to say?

You don't know how it will change someone's life to invite them out for supper. Or perhaps see if they want to go shopping with you, or maybe take them a loaf of home baked bread, or a pie. But instead, we get so caught up in our own lives we neglect the ones who need us the most, because, we must be about the work of the Lord.

Does anyone visit the widows and orphans anymore? Does anyone still visit the sick, the backslider, or send them a card or anything? We can pray til we have no words left to say, but sometimes all that is needed is a listening ear, and it seems no one has that anymore.

I know you think I am whining. Kind of like Elijah did, Moses did, David did, Joseph, Jeremiah, Jonah... and yes, even Jesus was lonely. He just wanted someone to spend a little time with him in prayer, but they couldn't make the effort. We all think we are the one who is different. If we were the one asked.. we'd be the first to do everything to help.

I joined everyonesapostolic with that in mind. I needed someone to confide in. I needed a listening ear, and maybe some advice. I had never been thru a divorce before, let alone leukemia. I knew there were other apostolics online who had been thru things, so I decided to try it out.

I made a couple of 'close' friends who I was willing to listen to and I opened up to them some as well. I was finding strength in the midst of the storm. I had a shoulder to lean upon if only online or a phone call. I started seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. One called me almost daily to make sure I was doing good; went so far as to invite me to move to where they were, and even had me talk to their child on the telephone. They gave me reason to believe I mattered, and that they wanted to be a part of my life, even if it was hard. But just like always, in a flash they were gone. The three I opened myself up to, trusted, and gave me a glimmer disappeared in the dust.

I guess that is the way it is. Maybe I shouldn't trust anyone. Maybe I should just live a solitary life, because it seems that anyone who gets close to me, God yanks away. I find myself wondering what is wrong with me? But is it really me? Is it God? Or have we become so content with who we have become that we ignore those who need a lift once in a while? Is our own wants so important that we don't care who we hurt in the way to our goal?

I am sure there are some of you after you read this will turn and walk away and I will never hear of you again. Why should you be any different? If we are not always happy go lucky, take it all in stride, don't make waves, then no one wants to get close. I understand that. I don't like negative people.

But I am tired of complacency. I am tired of bottled up anger or grief. I am tired of talking to people who are literally going thru hell and trying to help them out when I have a hell of my own to contend with. I am tired of being vulnerable only to have it shoved in my face. I am tired of hearing about miracles, I want to see one in my own life.

Does any of this sound familiar to anyone else? Am I the only one who feels this way? I seriously doubt it.

I guess the answer I have been searching for is to not let anyone close. Just shut my mouth, not make waves, and just take it like a man. Maybe I am just not worthy.

It is a new generation. We are in a sinking ship, and there are only a couple of life preservers left, and no one is willing to take a chance that they are the one who can save someone else. Life perservers can usually hold a lot of weight. Would it hurt to help someone else stay afloat for a bit? All it would take is wrapping your arms around them and letting them know you will help them hang on.

Naw. Let them sink. It's what everyone else does.

Could God create a boat just for them? Sure. Could he bring about a miracle just for the one in need? Sure. Could he change the situation? Sure. But sometimes, he needs our help.

There is nothing like the feeling when that person you brought to church gets the holy ghost. There is nothing like the feeling, when the person you prayed and fasted for gets their miracle. There is nothing like a hug to someone who is lonely.

Can God do it himself. Sure. But just like God cannot make anyone love him, he cannot make anyone love us. There are times when even God isn't enough.

He hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him. He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise him; he hath put him to grief.

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