Who Do You Say I Am?

This has been quite a summer. It has been one of the busiest I have faced in quite a while, and I find myself wondering where it has all gone.

Sure, there was lots of visits with family and friends, my parents 50th anniversary, catching a stomach bug, starting a new job, and doing my best to stay cool in the summer heat.

Politics is in full swing as is the Olympics and of course there is always controversy to some fashion in both of those, but about a week ago there was an event that took place across our nation in response to one man’s comment about his support of marriage between one man and one woman.  Liberals were immediately in arms against this man and his restaurant chain and ‘how dare he define what was right and wrong.’ Surely, you heard about Chick-Fil-A?

On the other hand the supporters, and I would assume believers of the Biblical principles of what constitutes a marriage, came out in full support. Record numbers showed up to purchase chicken sandwiches and drinks from this place to show that they supported the rights of this man. Some said it was bigoted hate coming out; some said it was the Christian thing to do; and still others said it was about civil rights.

Integrity And Character

A video surfaced on YouTube, where a man showed up and called the server at the window hateful, and how could she sleep knowing she was involved with supporting a hate group. It went viral, made most news broadcasts, and in the end the man was fired from his own job for his behavior toward her.

Today, I saw an interview with this girl and she said she had accepted an online apology from the man who was so rude and hateful, but also she was sorry he lost his job and that his family was subjected to so much criticism in the media. She showed amazing patience, integrity, and a great depth of character.

I found myself wondering how would I have reacted in the same circumstance? Would I have been as kind and patient? Would my human nature taken over and I would have spewed out the same type of anger toward him that he was giving to  me? Most probably the latter.

As Christians, we like to think of ourselves many times as above the fray, and that we would react differently if faced with accusations and anger, but let’s face it, most of us can get riled up and ready to fight back with just a couple of words.

The Bible says in the last days there will be wars and rumors of wars, but it also states that brother shall rise against brother, even unto the death. I must admit, even at my age, when my brothers get me riled up instead of walking away, or turning the other cheek, it is much easier to get angry and attack back. Words can hurt and being betrayed by your own brother in a moment that should be happy, can drop the strongest of us to our knees.

While on our knees, we should reflect on the one who is really able to deliver, but usually the anger, the hurt, the flesh takes over and we rise back up to fight with full battle gear. We are human; we don’t like being hurt or accused and generally it is those close to us who tend to give us the most problems. But when we blow our temper, chances are our integrity and character will vanish in the midst of it.

Who Do You Say I Am?

Peter was asked this question by Jesus. He had walked with Jesus, seen many miracles, joined Christ walking on the water; he was one of Jesus’ closest followers.  At first it seems an easy question. 

If we were asked we would probably say God, the son of God, Saviour, healer, or a multitude of other attributes we give to Jesus.

Peter was asked three times and by the last one, he was actually upset because Jesus questioned him. And instead of explaining why he asked three times, Jesus simply told him to feed his sheep and lambs.  The question I believe wasn’t really about did Peter believe in Jesus, but He was searching to see where Peter’s character was at. What did he really believe down deep inside? Was he trustworthy? Could he be counted on?

Jesus essentially was saying, ‘Peter, who are you?’

What About Us?

Most of us like to profess our Christianity. We might even brag to some degree. We have habits of discussing what we believe, and sometimes arguing the finer points of what the Bible really means and at times we can get in heated discussions about it.

This has its place, but I wonder sometimes if we are the same person we were when we first came to Jesus. That moment when we gave Him our all, when He filled us with His presence. Are we still that person?

Now some might say we should grow from where we started and we should, but do you still believe the same values with as much vigor as we did that first moment when we spoke in other tongues? Most of us at that time are quick to tell everyone. We want everybody to have what we have and we are unafraid to share it.

We do our best to get rid of the old man; the lying, drinking, swearing, or whatever bad behaviors we had in our life. We seem to hold our head higher, dress nicer for service, do our best to live a life that would be pleasing in God’s sight. But how long does it last? Or does it? Are we still serving God with the same tenacity we did then?

We know how it was when we began. You would find us reading the word, establishing a daily prayer life, doing our best to encourage and uplift others, and in as much ability as we have, being a witness for Christ.

If someone we knew saw us they might even call us a holy roller, and instead of being upset about it, we wore the tag with pride. We were a child of God. How much better could it be.

Living The Life

In time, though, most of us tend to slip back in some of our behaviors. We aren’t as open about what we believe, unless we are discussing it with someone else who believes. Some of the areas that we had overcame slip back in a little. We don’t pray quite as much because we get so busy, and well for many of us, our Bible gets picked up as we head out the door for church.

What we consider Christian, and even Apostolic,  changes some too. Maybe some of those things that we were so on fire about in the beginning was just our judgmental attitude or maybe it was just zeal at the time. Before long, the church we used to attend very faithfully, the tithe we used to pay, doesn’t seem to matter quite so much, and if our children don’t quite act the way they should, well we give them the benefit of the doubt as we remember them in prayers from time to time.

Please understand, I am not saying that everything we were taught was exactly right. Nor am I saying that we should judge those who do change their way of life. But I wonder if Jesus changed the way we do, would we still treat Him the same?

Restoration

Lately, most of us have reacted in sheer horror at the shootings in Colorado, and other events that destroyed lives and we feel for those who lost loved ones. 

We wonder how could they do it? What happened to make that man pull out a gun and shoot all those people. We think to ourselves, ‘if it was me I would…’  But the reality is, that except for the grace of God, we could be in the same situation, or perhaps our child might be.

I feel sorry for those who have lost their loved ones, but I do find myself wondering what must have happened in that persons life to change them so much? And then I look around at those who I grew up with, those who I attended church with. The ones who I saw with my own eyes slain in the spirit, or speaking in that heavenly language, and now the life they live would not be pleasing in God’s sight.

I realize to some extent that makes me a judge, but mostly my heart breaks for them. They don’t even seem to realize where they are in relationship to where they used to be. I want to scream to them, ‘get back to God. Don’t live that life!’ But its not up to me.

Maybe there was a change in how their mom or dad lived. Maybe they went through some adversity and instead of finding the encouragement they needed, they felt lost and alone. No one showed up to help carry their burden. The scripture says we are to help out.

‘Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.' Galatians 6:2

It is our duty to help restore our brothers and sisters, but instead many times we find ourselves whispering behind their backs. We still go to church. We still might even look the same and pay our tithes on time, but in the depths of our character, who are we?

Do we still believe it like we used to? Are we still committed to our walk with God, no matter what? Do we love our brother and sister?

What would He say if we asked Jesus, ‘who do you say I am?’

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The Birthing of Revival

I am praying that this year is a Year of Restoration. I truly desire that God works in my life and brings his deliverance and healing into my body and spirit.

I also want revival in my city as I mentioned in a previous blog posting. It has become a passion for me, a burden even, to reach others.  I ran across a message I heard a little while ago and felt like sharing it. The speaker is Sis. Bobbye Wendell.

The Birthing of Revival

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Do They Know I Am One Of Those?

While browsing the internet today, I came across a story on CNN about people who wear their faith on their sleeve. You can read it here for yourself.

It got me to thinking about my own life, and the lives of those around me.

There was a time when you could go the grocery store and pick out the Pentecostals or Apostolics. Not just because you saw them in church, but everyone knew who they were. We acted different, talked different, would walk away if someone started to tell a dirty joke. Our hair was different. People knew we didn't watch television or movies, and even though they thought we were wierd, they treated us with respect.

Even if we were not over the top witnessing, those around us knew what we believed, and had either visited themselves, or knew someone who did. They had heard the stories of how we did crazy stuff, shouted in church instead of sit there solomnly, and while it was scary it was a bit intriguing. We had them curious.

In church recently, I overheard a couple of pew-raised youth talking about the "awesome special effects" in the movie they just saw. When I go around town, I don't even always recognize those from my own church, because they don't look the same.

I have been told its the change in generation, but we have blended in with the crowd. We don't look different, except at church. I hope we still talk different, but I have my doubts. Our conversation should still be holy, but with television in most of our homes, video rentals (it doesn't appear so much like we are part of the world that way), how can everything that proceeds out of our mouth be something Jesus might say? It used to be popular to wear those WWJD bracelets, but now .. if it doesn't have some garish logo or something that looks grunge, our youth won't wear a shirt that says anything about Christ.

Our older generation for the most part seem complacent with things being as they are, because after all, 'we are praying about it.' Everybody prays, no one does anything.

I have a young friend who is a charismatic preachers daughter. You know the ones. They don't act like we do, they can't possibly have the same holy ghost, and well.. you know. Last fall, she was beaten and nearly raped by the son of preacher. She was missing for two days, and we worried she was dead somewhere. She walked home barefoot, with torn clothing, all battered and bruised, and no one stopped to help her. She walked more than 15 miles like that, and tried to rest on the street when she was too tired.

I talked to her and her sister the other day, and she has forgiven the guy who did it. Not only that, she became friends with him. My first reaction was how could you? Are you crazy? You know he has been abusive to you. But she told me, "that yes he grew up on a pew, but he doesn't know the Jesus I know. Maybe somehow, I can lead him to the truth."

Part of me thinks she is playing with fire, but part of me is ashamed of myself. I am not like that. When I hear what she went through, even I want to get a bat and send the guy straight to hell. But she has completely forgiven him. In her voice, you can hear she is christian. I wonder if my voice says the same thing?

But, I keep thinking to myself, do we still live the life we used to be laughed at for, or have we mutated into something that still looks the part, but only when its convenient. Do they still know we are different?

Just yesterday, someone who I had a lot of trust in, told me about things that have happened at National Youth Congress, and he was bragging about it. I am still in shock about it today. I honestly don't know if I would allow my daughter to go because of what he said to me.

The bible says "by their fruit, ye shall know them." On the CNN article, those men are abused, laughed at, criticized for their faith. Yes, they don't know God like we do, but can we still say the same about us? The bible also says we 'are a peculiar people.' Are we still?

Do they still know we are the ones to run to in a time of misery? Do they see Jesus in us? Are we still the shelter, the hospital, the cleansing station?

I haven't heard the songs that used to bellow out from our pews in years, about the blood, the cross, the sanctity of our worship. The other nite at the end of service, people were in the altar, and I felt the old standby song we used to sing, "Here I am Lord, Here I am." It used to be a call to worship and pour ourselves out before the Lord, but instead it was replaced with something with a beat, and no real submissive spirit to it. The worship lingered for a bit and was gone, and then off to the local eatery.

I feel sad tonight. When I look at the chaos the world, the financial ruin we are headed for, it truly feels like the end to me. We hear the stories of this one or that one takign their lives or the lives of their family, because they don't know how they are going to support them. Our government is taking over everything it seems, and those in real need are left without.
When it gets really bad, who will America's hurting turn to? Who are our children going to turn to? Will they even be able to tell there are some of us who still believe it like we used to? Will they be able to see the Christians who truly wear Jesus on their countenance?

I need to do better and let Jesus be on my sleeve.

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Something else; something more...

It is 2:00 am and I find myself wondering why I am awake. I should be resting I know but something woke me up about an hour ago. At times, I appreciate the stillness of the night. It seems that is when God seems to catch my attention the easiest; and a time when it seems easier to hear him calling out my name.

A lot of things have been on my mind lately; important decisions I have to make, why this is happening, or perhaps just trying to make sense of it all. It would be nice if we were allowed to choose every aspect of our lives, but it doesn't really work that way. We can say yes, no, or run away when we are faced with life, or we can accept it, perhaps embrace it, and just move into a new phase.

I guess I have always been more emotional or maybe perceptive about the aspects of my life God is working on, and yet I see others who seem to either disregard or be oblivious to the direction their life is headed, and I wonder why does God allow it to be that way? People who have been completely sold out to God, or seemed to be, so quickly fall away when faced with difficulties. Somehow God has 'forsaken' them, and yet instead of trying to examine what is going on in their lives, they ignore the signs or just don't see what they are doing. Maybe they have become calloused to the point where it doesn't really matter anymore.

I realize there are times when we all just need to take things in stride, and know it will work out, but there are also times when those gentle tugs or the trials that seem to knock us down are trying to wake us up before it is too late.

I don't understand how some can profess to love God and yet, they seem so far from truth, and accepting of the changes, like somehow God is ok with it all. The true hunger for God has been replaced with something else.

We are a generation that knows God, or so we think, and we get so caught up in life that we forget the depths he once took us to. It never used to be a big deal if we spent time in the altar crying out to God and hungering after him. It never used to be a big deal if we were tired and it was a long church service, because we were there with a passion for God, and we found strength in him. It used to be when we were asked to help out, it wasn't just another chore we had to do, or some inconvenience to our lives, but it was a blessing.

What has happened to us? Have we become so complacent that we are not aware of the changes?

I have heard people talk about this as a 'new day.' We have programs and steps to achieve our ministries, rather than anointing and worship. Dedication has been replaced with acceptance; both in our personal lives as well as in our walk with God. There is this perception that God doesn't work the same way as he used to; somehow we have to 'help' him out to achieve his goals. Really?

I know God needs us, but he doesn't 'need' us.

Just recently someone made a comment that they heard so and so was going to another church, and how 'they talk about God moving there. It can't be true though, because they are not coming here like they used to.' We can be so self absorbed thinking God cannot move on someone else who does not look like us, act like us, or maybe sing the same songs we do.
And yet, those who at one time were our prayer warriors, seem to just take it all in stride. 'Oh, God will work it out, he always comes through.' While that is true, it seems like we have become so used to how things are that we don't expect things to be any different and somehow we have forgotten how it used to be. We think God understands, and yes he is the same, but we aren't. Many have become so blinded and yet so arrogant to think that our apathy is just God being patient with us.

I am so troubled in my spirit at things that are allowed to go on and no one seems to care. I am so moved seeing those who I believed in, confided in, and loved seeming to go further and further away from what they believed just a short time ago, and yet, they think they are ok. Whether it is blinded by sin, or just simply not caring anymore, I really don't know, but something has to happen to wake them up before it is too late.

The bible talks about the ten virgins and five let their oil run out, and five kept back just a little so they would have something to draw from when the bridegroom came. Most of the time, we talk about those who let the oil run out. People who were once dedicated, bright, shining examples for God, who have somehow let their light dim and flicker out. We talk about them like how could they be so stupid to not keep the faith, and yet we don't really recognize the reasons their flame has gone out. It could be they got lazy; or perhaps they got so caught up in life, that they weren't aware, but it could also be our fault.

The bible says we are to bear one anothers burdens, but it seems to me that we are so busy in our own circumstances that we don't even see what is happening to our brothers and sisters, or even our own families. I know salvation is one on one. It is between us and God, but when did we see a brother or sister slipping away, and not feel touched, or moved by God to do something about it?

We are supposed to be loving our neighbor as ourselves, and yet most of us have become so wrapped up in our own situations, that we don't even know what is going on in the lives of those around us. I had one person tell me not too long ago, that is wasn't so important that you believed and worshipped the way you used to as long as you gave God an hour or so on Sunday. Really! And this person claims to be in the ministry.

Some have gotten the idea that serving God is about making it to church, singing a few songs, and listening to someone talk for a little while about the bible. It is no wonder some lights have flickered out. Those who are 'ministers' don't have time to minister anymore except for when people make it to church, and I have heard preachers and preachers wives say, 'well, if they loved God, they would be here.'

It isn't that way.

Being a christian used to be about sharing. Sharing what we know; sharing what we have, and spending time worshipping together. It didn't take a continual drone from the platform about how we need to raise funds for this or that program. People gave of their own accord; not just finances, but they gave their time, and their worship was more than just something to do. It used to be that 'pentecostals' were considered oddballs, and you could definately pick them out of a crowd in the supermarket, or the mall. They looked different, they acted different, their love for God and each other was apparent.

Last sunday morning I arrived at church just a few minutes before sunday school, and there was less people there, at least on time, that I could have counted them on two hands and maybe part of a foot. This from a church that used to be known in the community, even despised at times. A church that when you talked about 'those people' everyone knew who you were talking about. Sure a lot of it was criticism, but they knew when they had a real need, where to find the answer.
Now, when I go the store, I almost never see anyone from my church. I almost never see anyone who looks holy. Everyone seems to have blended in to the crowd. A few weeks ago I saw a couple of ladies that looked holy, seemed to have a pleasant disposition, and carried themselves with dignity. I didn't say anything to them, but I wondered if perhaps there was another church nearby that preached the truth. There is only one apostolic church in my area for more than 100 miles, so seeing some who looks like what I remember we used to look like surprised me.

I mentioned seeing those ladies and my wonder to a few people from my church, and almost without hesitaion they all said, 'those are the two-by-two's, they don't believe like we do.' How do we know? Did any of us talk to them? How come we assume that we are the ones with the truth? That we are the ones who have enough oil? And if we are, how come we aren't at least trying to communicate with those who look holy? Maybe we are the foolish ones?

Just like in the parable, the foolish had let their light go out to the point that they weren't even aware of what was going on around them. They went out to find more 'oil' when they knew the bridegroom was coming. We see so many signs of the end, and yet most of us are just content to sit on the pew and not try to get on fire like we used to be. The bible says in the end there will be a great falling away, and frankly, I see it happening everywhere. Not just in those who 'quit church' but in the dedication we have for God and his work.

The thing I have always wondered though, and no one seems to preach is about the five wise virgins and how selfish they were. The principle of God has always been give and it shall be given to you. The widow woman gave to the prophet first, and never ran out of oil or meal. There are many cases like that in the bible and we used to be able to spout off the cases in our own lives where God came through when we did something first. So, why didn't the wise virgins share? Were they selfish with what they knew?

Truly, the bible says 'they all slumbered and slept.' All of them; those with oil; those without didn't try to keep it going, they went to sleep.

So we have a dilema; are we sleeping because we are wise, or sleeping because we think we have plenty of time? Are we truly the wise ones, or are we the foolish?

I am so hungry for a real move of God. Not just the "I came to church, sang some songs, worshipped some, heard some guy speak on some topic I will never remember" move of God; not just the occasional 'miracle.' I have heard people talk about miracles and why are we 'looking for signs, we aren't supposed to be.' That is a cop out, the same as when we know a brother or sister is going thru a difficult time, and we say we 'will pray about it.'

Someone needs to step it up and do something. Jesus said we were supposed to be doing greater things than he did. How many of us can say we raised the dead? Too hard? Yes, I know that only God can raise the dead, but what are WE doing? Or how about just being moved with compassion for someone other than ourself? That shouldn't be so hard.
Our churches have become just social hangouts where we do just enough to get by, and then plan if we will go to Applebees or McDonalds after church.

Again, I am so hungry for a move of God. If we looked in our cupboards and freezer for something to eat and couldn't find what we needed, wouldn't we go to the store? Most of us don't usually go to the grocery store to be seen, or to catch up with someone to make plans to go eat somewhere. We go there to get what we need to sustain us. Sometimes, we even share what we buy with someone else.

That is what the church is supposed to be about. Needing something else, needing something more to not only sustain us but to satisfy that longing. Something that will keep us steady; something that will be enough to keep us until he comes. It wouldn't hurt if we got enough that we could share as well. Someone else may be hurting and hungry; are we just going to walk on by, or are we going to help?

Once upon a time, there were four people; Their names were Everybody, Somebody, Nobody and Anybody.
Whenever there was an important job to be done, Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. When Nobody did it, Somebody got angry because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought that Somebody would do it, but Nobody realized that Nobody would do it. So consequently Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done in the first place.

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Is This It?

Many nights lately I have woken up in the middle of a fitful sleep with a burden and a lot of questions.


We see changes in the weather that are unprecedented with destruction and grief. Just this morning there was a huge earthquaking shaking Japan; last week a torndao slammed a direct hit on a boy scout camp in Iowa, to say nothing of the rampant water, rain and destruction as homes are swept away in the seemingly unending storms. I cannot recall in my short life when there has been so many wild storms that appear out of nowhere and leave many homeless, tired, and broken in their wake.


In the past few weeks, the courts have approve of gay marriage, shut down the trials of some of those responsible for the devestation on 9/11, and one judge was removed from a case because it was found the evidence in the case he was administering was on his own personal website and it dealt with child pornography. Crazy people shooting up schools, a bottling plant was the last place two women spent time yesterday and last week two little girls out for a walk were gunned down by an unknown assailant.


We have a well known celebrity who has decided she is 'her own personal god' and she has a force life around her drawing the masses into her delusions. She is backing the first african american president our country has seen whose theme has become change is coming, and he has so many skeletons in his closet it seems a new one falls out every day. There is a lack of concern and respect for each other that is unseen in our lives.


My soul is stirred and broken over the mess we have gotten ourselves into, and it appears there is no hope for America, our world, or even our very souls. Someone mentioned the other day that there is a suicide every 15 seconds somewhere; souls going to a devil's hell without the answers they needed.


At times, I wonder where are the preachers, prophets, and those who have been given the keys to winning the battles of life. I stop and look in the mirror because how can I cast stones when I sit idly by as the crushing blows of sin takes its toll and another soul is destined for hell.


Gone are the days when men and women would labor in the altar for souls long after the last amen and people were walking out the doors of our sanctuaries. We talk about soul winning, we raise funds for missions, but in the end we sit on the pew through a few songs, jot down a note or two, maybe clap or even raise our hands and shout with the preacher and walk out into the world dying around us oblivious to the loss and pain others are feeling.


Our songs have become about the beat and the repeated phrases written by many who have yet to know God, and we wonder in our own minds if the 'truth' we have preached for so many years is really that important because the church down the block is filled to capacity and they are building a cathedral to dishonesty and delusions rather than stop people in their tracks with what the Bible really says.


We have become a social place to gather together on Sunday Morning and feel passified in our self righteousness and portions of praise all the while saints, youth, and children on the pews who really need to get the message are going to hell on the pews. Our ministers don't preach the heart-wrenching soul shaking messages that they used to. They preach a sermon they found online or in a book and feel like they have done their duty. It is about grace and mercy and how God can forgive, and he does, but is that enough to make us ready for heaven? I miss the cross and the shame and reproach my master bore for my own personal sins.


I know the messages have to burn with inside us; they do in me, but they don't seem to make it from our hearts to our mouths and we wait on someone else to be stirred with desire for the lost so we don't feel guilty about our dwindling attendance. It isn't really our fault people have little love for the message anymore is it?


Do we even remember? The power packed sermons where saints and sinners alike ran from their pews to the altar shaking under the anointed word of God; the lady in the corner wailing in intercession; those slain in the spirit strewn across the floor of the church, lost in his spirit. And when we left and went home we were tired from the burdens we left at the altar but our spirits were refreshed from the power we felt, and we went to bed knowing we had been with almighty God.



Man, I miss those days. I know many say they have great services, and some I am sure do feel the power of God like they used to. However, there are many churches where if Jesus was to walk into the service he would wonder why we spend so much time on fundraising and decor, and why we are dressed to impress everyone we meet, but our eyes have not seen tears of empathy and worship of the one who really we should worry about impressing.


I know several ministers who have just quit. They don't preach, they don't always even show up to church, and some have backslid forgetting the very messages they used to scream from the pulpit. Can God be happy about what we have become? Should we? We get so caught up in personality and the appearances of holiness, but our hearts our empty and we just stumble through life unaware that the spirit has left.


We do need change. He is coming, and He is coming soon.


The Bible says in the last days men's lives will quake for fear. Our mental hospitals are full of depressed Christians popping pills because the power of God is not enough anymore.


The Bible says there will be signs in the heavens and in the earth. How much more disaster, famine, earth shaking situations can we go through?


The Bible talks about wars and rumors of wars. Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, .... need I say more?


Men have become lovers of self more than lovers of God. We worship things more than the creator. We invest our time, our energy, our money in the next big program, when He is crying out, "Why am I not enough?"


Yes, He is coming. It doesn't matter if our church has one person, or 5 million. He is coming again. The mission is not about how many we have, although we need to take everyone we can. Our duty is to just really do the best we can to reach the lost. One soul won is better than 10,000 you haven't spoken to, one soul going down in his name shakes the very heavens.


He is coming back soon. Are we ready? Or are we going to keep wandering through life and someday find out we never made it either? He that winneth souls is wise. Look to the skys and ask yourself "Is this it, and what do I have to show for it?"


Lord Jesus forgive us and help us to bless you with our compassion and passion.

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