Church Launch Tomorrow

It is here. We have been talking about it for months on Facebook and Twitter and now the date is upon us.

 

Tomorrow, March 29, 2015 at 10:30 am starts the first service in the Lewiston Community Center.

Excited does not even begin to cover it. We are excited about what God is going to do in our services and our community.

Anointed Praise was a dream for a long time. A place where people who were unchurched, prodigals, or those who are not satisfied with status quo church to have a new place to worship. The valley needs a place for the hurting to be healed, those who feel displaced to call home and a place for anyone who wants to be a part of the amazing work God desires to do.

We covet your prayers and if you are in the local community, please come out and join us for a time of worship, praise and celebration of Jesus Christ.

Palm Sunday

Tomorrow is also traditionally Palm Sunday. This is the day recognized the world over as a remembrance of Jesus riding into Jerusalem as the crowd waves Palm branches and sang Hosanna to the King. They believed Jesus was going to be crowned king and deliver them from the slavery and abuse they all suffered at the hands of the Roman soldiers. But it was for so much more.

Jesus did not come to rule Jerusalem. He did not come to free the captives of his nation. He came that we might all have abundant life and that we could be like Him. Palm Sunday should be a celebration no doubt, but not just for His ‘triumphant’ entry into the city but that He came that even generations later we can have eternal life. This is why we are starting the church.

Let Them Know

For weeks now, and even months as we prepared for this day, I have woken to the words,

 Let them know.. Let them know.. Tell them Jesus Loves them so….

It is the words to a song from years gone by but it is much more than that. It reverberates through my brain the burden and call that God has placed upon my life.

It has been hard at times to see those in the city who used to go to church but now are living a life less blessed. I won’t say they are backslidden, but that they have forgotten the power and anointing.

Maybe they grew complacent. It is easy to do so when life is going alright. But are they living the satisfied life in Jesus? Do they still hear his voice in the night? I really do not know. But there are more than just them.

Every person we walk by, work with, check out with in the grocery store is a soul headed somewhere. Somehow, we have to let them know. They need Jesus. They can have a better life and a future in Him.

Pray With Us

Please join us in prayers for our city. We want to fulfill the call Jesus placed on our lives. We are looking for 300 people to join us in prayers for our ministry. If you are interested in being a part, please contact us on our website. If you could just spend a few moments each day to pray for Anointed Praise Ministries in Lewiston Idaho, we would greatly appreciate it. Somehow, we must let them know….

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Come Sunday…

The last few days I have been reminiscing about growing up in a small town and how nice it was not to have to worry about a lot of things we do now.

Parents didn’t worry about us playing outside in the dark as long as we didn’t drift too far from home. We knew that at 9 o’clock the siren from the fire station would sound the curfew that meant everyone under a certain age should now at the very least be in their own yards if not tucked inside reading a book or perhaps doing homework.

I grew up in church and had a mixture of friends. Some went to church with me; quite a few didn’t. I never really considered myself popular but everyone knew my dad was the pastor of the Pentecostal church on Cody Avenue. It was a good life. We didn’t really worry about how much money we had or what people thought about us.

Sure there was some expectation from my friends. They knew what I was about. They knew what I would do and what I wouldn’t. It never seemed to matter to them that I didn’t do all the things they did. I didn’t go to the theater; didn’t have a TV in my house; didn’t go to dances and no one even brought up smoking or drinking because they knew what I believed and what my Dad preached. If I would have done any of those things I truly believe my friends that didn’t go to church with me would probably have been shocked, maybe even disappointed. And so would a lot of my teachers.

And no I wasn’t perfect but my faith kept me living the life as best as I could, even if it meant repenting in my bed late at night before I fell asleep about being mad at someone.

In My House

You see in my house we ate dinner together as a family. We got up every morning before school to read the Bible and pray before Dad left for work. We read a lot of books, listened to mystery stories, Ranger Bill, and Uncle Charlie on the radio, and we played outside.

Looking back I am not sure how we didn’t get hurt more often with some of the forts we built and the bicycle jumps in the field near our house. We fed the pigs  and chickens of the landlord and he would give us a couple near the end of the year for our trouble. Dad worked several jobs it seemed but he always had time to go hunting and more importantly to be active in our lives.

Whether it was studying up on bees to tell my 3rd grade class about since I had bragged he grew up on a farm and had bees, ( I didn’t know it wasn’t as big of deal as it was in my head), or the time he helped me carve a piece of wood into a race car for the pinewood derby. He did a lot of things like that, but come Sunday he was on the platform leading worship, maybe singing a song, and preaching to us and telling us about the power of God and His love.  We had a lot of miracles in our church. It became so common that if someone had a need they were calling my dad to pray, sometimes before they called the ambulance.  I could tell you lots of stories about things that happened growing up. Maybe some day I will, but for right now I want you to remember the scripture that says ‘train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.’ That was and is my life.

The Other Family

I won’t mention their name but I am sure if you know me it won’t be hard to figure out who I am talking about. This family too ate dinner together. Usually most of it was homemade and from what I recall there was always fresh biscuits. They seemed to enjoy hanging out with each other but if you were to visit you would almost always hear one of them yelling at another.

Sometimes it was the adult yelling at a kid. Sometimes kids yelling and fighting with each other. Sometimes it was the kids yelling at the parent to be followed by a quick yelp as a hand or maybe a switch touched someone’s backside. I don’t know if they had a TV but you could be pretty sure if they wanted to watch something they figured out a way to ‘visit’ the neighbors who had TVs, even if it was ‘supposed to be babysitting.’

Remembering back, most of the kids in the family never finished school. It just didn’t fit with their life’s goal I guess. They didn’t really get involved in a lot of the stuff I did, although a couple of them hung around with me on occasion. I remember seeing black eyes and sometimes scratches on their arms and neck, but knew it didn’t come from the parents but most likely they had been in a fight with someone.

I spent the night there a couple of times and I don’t remember them reading the Bible and praying, but I do know that they had a couple of Bibles laying around. Most of them could sing fairly well and it was common for them to a sing a special in church or be part of a choir. They loved those old gospel hymns. It didn’t seem to matter what all happened during the week, come Sunday you knew that family would be in their Sunday best and sitting a couple rows back from the front of the church.

I remember their singing. I even remember some miracles that took place in their lives and lots of shouting and worship growing up with them. But I also remember the smoking, the chewing, the talking about dirty movies, and in general the chaos that was their lives. Sure, they did come to church. And I am certain they loved God, but the depth didn’t seem to be there when I look back.

The father was quick to point out what I should or shouldn’t be doing since I was the pastor’s son but the same rules didn’t seem to apply to his kids.

It has been quite a while since I heard from any of them. I know the parents have long since passed away and from what I have heard through the grapevine, none of the kids still serve God or even go to church. It is sad really. I wonder about them often. What happened in their lives? Is there still some place they can go to remember back to what it felt like to be slain in the altar or the worship that cascaded from the prayer rooms? What do they do on Sunday now?

Sunday…

We have a tendency to place a strong influence on going to church on Sunday. Whether you are a Pentecostal or attend another denomination, for most people come Sunday they are visiting a church somewhere. They might be quick to point out how important it is to be in church, or perhaps even look down their nose a bit if you aren’t there like they expect. And maybe they do miss you if you aren’t there but what is Sunday to them? Really?

Is it church? Is it worship? Is it a time filler before football? Is it just something they do?

Serving God is more than what you do on Sunday. Being a Christian does not mean you go to a church, pay your tithes, drop a few bucks in an offering plate and sing a song or two.

Sunday is the day we have come to delegate as time for worship, but serving God is what you do during the rest of the week. It is how you live your life with your family. It is the way you act in the supermarket when someone is slow. It is looking past that temptation to take that thing that isn’t yours or to forgive those who don’t quite act the way you expect them to.

Sunday should be a time of reflection, worship, thankfulness, and love for the Almighty. It is not about the pretty dress you have on, or the fact that you combed your hair a certain way, or the fact that you have your ‘assigned’ seat right near the back so you can run out to the restroom during prayer without anyone noticing.

Sigh…

I remember many services that were long but driven to worship. Celebratory times when people were baptized and it wasn’t just what we did because someone asked. Fellowship meetings where others who believed the same came together for some good preaching, singing, and worship and then stayed after long enough to chat and have a sandwich and chips.

I remember many who were overcome with the power of God and with long drawn out emotions as they bowed over at the altar. No one was going to drag them away; you just had to wait until they were done.

Everyone shouted Amen to the preacher and stood to their feet with their Bibles in hand excited about the presence of God. We believed in heaven and hell. We didn’t look for excuses as to why we weren’t there. We didn’t want to miss service because we knew if we did they were surely ‘going to have a good service.’

But the thing is most of those who used to do that aren’t there anymore. You might catch a glimpse of them around town but you can see their lives have take a different turn. It isn’t judging. It is more a sense of why? And no, going to church doesn’t make you a Christian. I really believe that. What transpires in your life during the week and how you spend time with your family is much more important. Do we have Bibles catching dust on the shelves? Or do we even know where they are anymore?

Come Sunday…

There are a lot of people who put the blame on others. For many years I have heard them say society started going down hill when they took prayer out of school; we need to get it back. And while I agree that played a big part it is not going to come back.

Besides, how is that going to help your child? Your wife? Your parents? Will having a Bible in school or prayer even reach them? Your kids used to go to church. They may have even spoke in tongues. Sunday School played a big impact in how most of us were raised, and yet most churches see it as a form of babysitting now. It isn’t about the word. It is about making sure someone watches your kids while you listen to someone theorize about why society is the way it is and that maybe we are just not forgiving enough. We just don’t understand them being the way they are. You have heard it. You know what I am talking about.

And yes, God forgives all manner of sin. I truly believe that. But I am sorry if you think getting prayer back in schools is going to make a difference. You are wrong. How about instead we start working on getting prayer back in our homes.

Crack open that dusty old Bible. Put down the phone, or the Ipad, turn off the TV and spend some time with God in your prayer closet. And come Sunday it will be a whole new day!

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I Came To Your Church Today

It was another stormy day. I decided I would go to church anyway, because I wanted to be amongst those I loved.

When I got to the building, the service had just started. There was no usher to greet me, but I figured they were busy seating someone else, so I would wait my turn. 

I could see through the window, happy faces, and some who were frowning, but most everyone had found a place to sit. Surely, someone would come and let me in. After a little bit, I knocked on the door. I waited patiently, but no one came.

I could faintly hear the music playing, and see the leader of the service waving his arms and singing a lively tune and much of the crowd joined in. A couple people toward the back kept talking and shaking their heads, but I figured perhaps they were new, and didn’t understand what was going on.

I had been to this church before in the past and was warmly embraced and made to feel at home. But it wasn’t that way today. Instead I stood out in the cold, with the wind howling around me. Shivering a bit I pulled my clothes tighter around me and knocked a bit harder. Surely, someone would hear me.

I saw a few people raising their hands, and the music stopped for a bit. I knocked again hurriedly. I assumed that maybe they hadn’t heard me over the music before. The leader at the front was nodding, and speaking and pointing at different ones near the front. Then everyone stood up, and a bit of murmuring could be heard. Ahh, they were praying. Okay, maybe I will wait just a little bit longer. I don’t want to interrupt them praying for their needs.

Then everyone sat down, and three ladies in bright colored dresses came to the pulpit. One talked a bit, and then they began to sing. I could hear the organ playing over the sound of the words, but I knew they were singing a special song. A few people raised their hands, a couple clapped, and I saw one lady in the back pull out her nail clippers and begin to work on her left hand.

One small face peered at me over the pew, smiled a bit and turned to the man beside him and said something, and looked back at me again. The man didn’t turn his head. The ladies finished their song, and the leader was back at the front.

Hey, there go the ushers, up to the front. Surely one of them will see me this time.  They bowed their heads briefly, and then walked down the aisles, right toward me, but they stopped at the pews, took up the offering and then went back to their seats.

Then a lady got up, I guess she must have been the leader’s wife. She was pointing to a place on a map, and talking and talking, and then she had everyone stand and they prayed again for a moment and sat back down and continued their program.

I figured it couldn’t hurt, so I knocked again once more.  No one seemed to hear me. The leader went back to the pulpit, opened up his Bible and read a few scriptures, and began to speak. I couldn’t really make out what he was saying, it was sort of muffled, but he must have been very direct in what he was saying because his face was red, and with his right hand he was pointing at the crowd and gesturing a lot. He looked back toward me but must have been too caught up in what he was saying to  see me standing there.

Wait, a moment a lady and a little boy are walking directly toward me. Finally, someone heard me knocking. The little boy looked right at me. The lady had to see me. She was coming right this way. No. She turned just past the door and went into another room near the water fountain.  I will wait  just a bit longer for her to come back out. 

The little boy comes out first and starts walking down the hall. The lady comes out hurriedly and catches up to the little boy and grabs his hand. They didn’t open the door for me. They surely had seen me? Maybe they were too busy.

The leader at the front is motioning to people. Some are standing up and walking toward the front. Most are turning to each other, grabbing their coats and talking.  I realize I have stood here all morning and the service is now over. Pretty soon people will be leaving and I never got to spend time with them.

They already had their programs, their singing, their offerings, their speaker, and their prayer.

I came to your church today, but no one let me in.

I wonder if I came to your house instead, someone would answer the door?

Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.  Rev. 3:20

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Waiting On God

Some days are more of  a struggle than others. Things we expect to happen don’t always work out the way we plan. Many times unexpected events take place in our lives that alter our idea of what our destiny is.

When we are doing everything we know to do and we do not see results frustration can set in. Waiting on God is not an easy task.

Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord. Psalm 27:14

I know. The scripture can seem as a slam almost.  It can hurt even. Does God know what I am going through? Does anyone care?

We have all been there at one time or other.

But God said…

Maybe it was a dream you had where God showed you something amazing or perhaps someone prophesied over you in a revival meeting and we just knew good things were about to happen.

We have prayed, fasted, did our very best to trust in God, and yet the results we wanted did not happen. We think to ourselves ‘what did we do wrong?’ It must be someone’s fault somehow. God answers prayer right?

Impatience & Disappointment

One of our biggest hurdles in trusting God is learning to deal with our own impatience and being disappointed that things did not happen the way we expected.  We analyze and try and fix it. Maybe if we did it another way. Maybe we need to pray more. Maybe we need to move. We become driven to do something rather than just waiting on the Lord.  The problem we have becomes so big in our mind that in time we cannot see beyond it. Our problem begins to define who we are and defeat becomes our address.

We lose sight of the promises God has already given us, and our complexion, our attitude, our lives show it. We begin to blame others as well as ourselves.

Confessions

So, the last few days have been like this for me. Yes, I am still recovering from surgery a couple weeks ago. Doctors are very encouraged that they got all the tumor out of my body, and that I am recovering well. You would think I would be happy and more content than I have been in a while, right? Nope.

I have been discouraged because a couple of things I have been really needing were no longer available now that I have the money to buy it. And then it was service day today and I went excited ready with a  message on ‘Trusting God’ and guess what? No one showed up. No one! There is always at least a few show up at each service, but today when I was all prepared and looking past my disappointment from the last few days, nobody shows up to hear what I prayed about and prepared.

So, after waiting the allotted time, just in case some were late, or perhaps overslept, I started thinking about the promises God has given me and began to wonder if it was all me? Did I do something to mess it up?  Was it just my imagination?  Maybe God really doesn’t want to use me after all. I am trying to do the will of God.

So why is it so hard?  I came home feeling defeat as I changed clothes.  I had forgotten that most of the time when we face difficulties when we are in the process of trying to do what we feel God has called us to do that trouble is going to show up.

Delay Is NOT Denial

There are a multitude of passages of scripture where prayer was given by the prophets and nothing happened. There were delays in reaching the promise land. Even Jesus had to pray a couple of times more than once for someone to be healed.  We focus on the have-not instead of what we do have.  Our eyes get off the promise. Consider Abraham. God promised. Abraham got impatient, he compromised, the promise still came, and become of the compromise those two tribes from one family have been fighting for thousands of years.

So why do we stress about it? Its simple. We are afraid. We look at our abilities and realize that the promises of God are not in our control.

The delay or the slowing of progress does not mean He isn’t going to come through. It isn’t a punishment or discipline, although being raised on the pew we tend to think so, delay can actually be a gift.

How many times do we say we don’t have enough time? How many times do we wish we had more than two hands? We need a break?

But most of us really do not want that. We think hurrying through life, being busy, getting it done soon so we can move on to the next project. We think we have to be busy or it cannot happen.

Slow Down

We get afraid if things slow down then the promise won’t happen. We are afraid of what God might say in that slower moment; we are afraid of what He might ask of us; we are afraid of what we might see happening;  and we are afraid of how we will react to a change in the situation.  When sometimes all we need is to take a breath and realize that we are not the ones in charge.

We get afraid because we don’t trust God. Ironic isn’t it. Here I was going to preaching about trusting God, and I am faced with my own dilemmas about trusting Him.

Waiting on God

Did you ever stop to think that waiting on God might be the most important part? Not getting in such a hurry that we mess it up?  If God said… doesn’t that mean it is going to take place? Or is God a liar? If He said it, it will happen.

So I came home in my defeat and discouragement and got online and in moments came across a message.

Let Your Disaster Move You To Your Deliverance – Jeff Arnold

 

See the thing is we get so busy worrying, trying to do something to make it happen, we miss out on those quiet messages from God that move us toward our destiny.  Elijah kept looking for God in the fire, the earthquake,  and the wind, but God was in the stillness, in the quiet, in the waiting.

So next time it looks like the answer isn’t coming, or the promise has been denied, take a few moments with God and just wait patiently in Him.

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Who Are YOU?

The last Sunday of each month, I help out in Nursing Home ministries that my father leads. Today, at the start of his message he said something that struck me and I think you all need to think about it.

"Usually when we get up in the morning one of the first things we do is look at ourselves in the mirror. Why? What are we looking for? What do we expect to see? Do we expect to see anyone else? Do we look at the wrinkles and the hair loss or color change? What do we see?"

I thought about that during his message and on the way home today and I want to ask you, "WHO ARE YOU?"

Really!

WHO ARE YOU?

Think about that for a while. Do you know who you are?

Turn back the clock five years, ten years, twenty years. Think about the goals and aspirations you had back then, and what you expected out of life. Remember the good times and the bad times. Are you who you thought you would be five years ago? How about twenty years ago. What kind of person were you twenty years ago, and are you the same now?

I know that change can be good. Many of us are not what we expected to be. We are not living the life we thought we would have. But, is it better than what you had expected? Or has your life had many bumps and corners that have changed you? Is it a good change. Would the you from yesterday be satisfied with who you turned out to be?

Think about it.

Consider Samson.

He was born with a purpose. He was a Nazarite from birth. He had a destiny. It was laid out before him and he knew as a child what he was supposed to do. Most of us can say the same thing. We were born into a belief pattern, a vocation, or lifestyle and we never expected to ever deviate from that.

I remember so many times of how strong the anointing was in our churches when I was little, and even though I knew in my heart what God wanted of me, and was willing at the time, I really did not like the direction he was taking me when I was just a little bit older. But I was young. I didn't fully grasp the road I was on, and where I needed to be.

Life can come at you from all sides and before you know it, you are not who you were, or who you expected you would be. Sometimes that is a good thing. Most times, it is not good at all.

Samson thought he had it all together. He tormented the enemy. He would make fun of them, and he had the strength to do so. He made them an embarrassment among their own people, and he was only one man. He knew who he was, but more importantly, he knew who his God was, and he knew God would back him up.

Imagine tying the tails of foxes together and setting them on fire, and letting them run through wheat fields catching fire to the crops. What a destructive young man he was, but he was destroying the inquity of the time. Another time he took a bone from a donkey and slew thousands of the enemy. We are still talking about one man. Samson, destined with purpose, born to be a leader.

And then along came Delilah. Samson already had a promised bride. His plan was set forth before him, and a little bit of temptation got in the way.

Kind of like us right? We have a destiny planned before we are born; we have a purpose for being here, and yet...

In the beginning, Samson thinking he was something special toyed with Delilah too. He made fun of her, and was still destroying the enemies that came into his life. It wasn't a big deal. It wouldn't matter if he just looked, maybe touched it a little. He was still born a Nazerite. He was God's chosen.

And Delilah kept after him. He took his eyes off his destiny and looked at the temptation of what he could have, and he gave in to her seductive spirit.

I wonder how many of us grew up knowing our purpose, knowing who we were, knowing what we were raised to be? How did we get sidetracked? What was our Delilah? Ten years ago what was your expected life?

Some of us, we still act the same way we always did; just not as much. We still go to the places we used to go; as long as it is convenient. We still believe what we used to believe; unless some part of it bugs us.

Some of us grew up in families that go back generations of knowing plans, purpose, and destiny. I wonder what our grandfathers would think of the heritage we are leaving behind?

I imagine Samson thought the same thing when the enemy plucked out his eyes so that he could no longer see what was really good about life. Instead of making his own decisions, someone made them for him. He had no choice. He was the same as the oxen.

Do you ever wonder about blind people and food? Do they get tired of the same things over and over, or are they adventurous in trying new foods? They can appreciate the taste, the smell, the texture, but they don't get to see what they are eating, so they are forced to rely on someone else to make sure what they are getting is right and good.

Sin can blind us too. We take what we are given because we do not have a choice. We are forced to trust others to guide us and to lead us, to make sure we are okay. But like Samson, we end up trusting our enemy to make sure we are taken care of. Really? Five years ago, is this where you thought you would be tonight?

Now I realize not all change is bad. Some of it is very necessary for growth. Some of the things we leaned on when we were younger are no longer available to us, and we have been forced to change, to grow, to become who we are. But, ask yourself again, is this who you wanted to be?

Some of us when we were little wanted to be a fireman, cowboy, movie star, ballerina, etc. For most of us, those were hopes and dreams, but they were not based on reality. However, the bible says that 'while yet in our mother's womb, God knew us.' He knew the plan, the hopes, the dreams he had for our lives. He tried to direct us in those paths, but is that where we are?

I remember times in an altar at church camp where I wanted more than anything to have God's will, but sometimes I have thought is it worth it with all that I have been thru? There have been times where I wanted to run away, not just walk from the graces of God because the battle was just too much. I am sure it is the same for many of you who might read this.

There are things that we begged God for, or perhaps told God we would do in those moments of epiphany and whether or not we believe it now, we believed it then. Do we think God forgot our promises to him?

Sometimes, I feel like if we could only turn back time, do things a bit different, maybe this or that would not have happened. Sometimes, I wish I could go back and undo or change things I have done and maybe change the course of life I have been on. But we cannot. Am I who I expected I was going to be? No.

I am certain Samson thought many of the same thoughts we all did when he was blind and tied to the mill grinding out the meal. Not only was he forced to trust his enemy for his survival, he was forced to make food for them as well. Because of his decisions it changed the course of his life forever. From a leader to a slave. From the anointed to the lost. And all the time he toiled and I am sure cried out to God for forgiveness, he was mocked, laughed at, and treated like an animal by his enemy.

See, even before the enemy took his sight, Samson lost his vision, and it cost him everything. "If only I had not given in. If this had not happened... If only I could go back and do things different!" But it was too late. He regained his vision though that day he begged God to restore his strength. No, he couldn't see, but he caught sight of his purpose once again. He got lucky.

Some are not so lucky. Judas didn't find a place of repentance. Paul said, "Demos has forsaken me (truth) having loved this present world."

I don't mean to come across as judgemental, but look around you. I am sure each of us can look at someone we know and wonder, 'How did they get there? Why did they marry that person? Look at the mess their life is in!' What happened?

How about are own lives? Are we who we thought we would be? Are we proud of what we have become? Do we really know who we are, or have we become blinded by the enemy and we will continue as we are until it is too late?

I was talking to someone the other day about a friend of mind. I know they have been through some tough times, but what was so terrible for them to go to such a level as they have? What was it about their trial that took them down? I know that I personally have been through a lot that no one knows about, and yet I am still here, so what was it that destroyed them? I really want to know.

Was it just some morning they got up and looked in the mirror and did not know who was standing there looking back? Was who they saw not enough for who they wanted to be? Did they remember back to those times of deep committment and feel lost? I don't know. You don't know.

But, when you look in the mirror, ask yourself, "Am I who I expected I would be five years ago? Ten? Twenty? Is my life something I can be proud of and have no fear about? Is my future (children, shelter, lifestyle, needs) headed in a direction that I am comfortable? Who Am I?'

Who Are You?

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Consider the Source!

I find it amazing some times the comments and thoughts that get back to me based on something that was said by myself, or at times even when I have said nothing at all. How twisted some thoughts become when it does not fit into our own ideas about what a person is saying. At times their own paranoia, for lack of a better word, will drive a person to do or say things that at times will literally shock us. Usually it exudes from insecurities in our own lacking that will make us say something about others. Whether or not what is said or not does not really matter if it is not ours to share then we should keep it to ourselves.

"And when she was baptized, and her household, she besought us, saying, If ye have judged me to be faithful to the Lord, come into my house, and abide there. And she constrained us. And it came to pass, as we went to prayer, a certain damsel possessed with a spirit of divination met us, which brought her masters much gain by soothsaying: The same followed Paul and us, and cried, saying, These men are the servants of the most high God, which shew unto us the way of salvation. And this did she many days. But Paul, being grieved, turned and said to the spirit, I command thee in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her. And he came out the same hour. Acts 16:15-17"

Now some would say what was wrong with what this lady said? Nothing. What she had to say was entirely truthful. However, this lady was known for spreading rumors, talking to spirits, backbiting, and in general she was a troubled spirit. She had said so many things that her following the ministry around caused doubt, simply because she had a habit of spreading it thick. It would have been the same in our day as talking to the pyschic hotline.

Most of us have enough common sense to realize that 'psychics' on 900 numbers are for entertainment purposes only, but some get so caught up in 'psychic babbling', horoscopes, or what so and so says, that we would believe anything that proceeds out of their mouth. John 8:44 says, "When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it." This is talking about Satan, but in fact almost all lies have a grain of truth in them, and at times we overlook or excuse the lie for reasons of our own choosing. Excuses can work the same way.

Years ago, my former pastors wife used to say something like, "an excuse is just the skin of the truth wrapped around a lie from the devil." And she was exactly right. However many times the reason we buy into what is said is because of the individual who said it. We have a common bond with this person and so we automatically assume that because we know them, it must be truth. Unfortunately, all of us from time to time tend to elaborate or embellish and what may have been true, no longer is.

And then there are those who are so hungry for a juicy morsel, that they will believe anything anyone says, and the other side of that issue is that there are some well meaning who are so afraid of controversy that they tell everyone what they think they need to hear. I think in some respects it is to make themselves look good, but generally it is because 'I didn't want you to feel bad.'

One of the biggest issues that drives others away from God is the rumors or accusations they hear from people in the church they attend. It doesn't even matter if what is said is truth or not, people get hurt by it. I was talking with someone just a few days ago who was consoling a wounded soul because another individual was telling her husband that the pastor said not to talk to his wife anymore because they are trouble. First off, the pastor would not have said something like that and expected it to be spread to the husband of the woman who it was supposedly about. Yet, the very source of the comment, who if there was any trouble it was from her, went so far as to tell anothers mate the gossip. Seriously? I have heard people say when this one or that one no longer comes back to church that 'they must not have loved God like I do.' It is incredibly sad when we think it is ok to make judgements on others lives based on what we think our spiritually level is. 99% of the time we are wrong.

Now I realize not everyone spreads gossip. Not everyone is a talebearer. But how often do you hear something about a person and wonder if it is true? Or even if you do not think it is true, you still have doubts in your mind, and it colors your impression of that person. It can directly affect that persons life, and it most certainly will have an effect on that persons ability to grow. Words hurt; even true words hurt. And most usually the hurt extends further than we could even imagine.

What is said may affect many people for eternity. So why do we listen to what is said about others? Aren't we just as guilty for listening as those who spread rumors? Doesn't the bible say 'believe a lie and be damned?' And yet, we base our belief based on relationship with the person without 'trying the spirit' when what we should be doing is stopping the conversation because if it involves anything that may injure or otherwise change our perception of a person then it is wrong. It may cost a soul. More than likely it will cost more than one, and how will it affect you personally?

Mark Twain said, "He gossips habitually; he lacks the common wisdom to keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.” And sadly, as Will Rogers said, "the only time people dislike gossip, is when the gossip is about them." Gossip is one of the most powerful forces in the universe, but we should always consider the source.

Something to think about, The Beatles rock band George Harrison said, "Gossip is the Devil's radio." So where are you getting your news?

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What is a LIE?

Over the past several weeks, I have been faced with situations that I am sure well meaning people thought they were protecting me, but in fact they didn't tell me the truth. That is a LIE!

Somehow, we have gotten the idea that when we know things, even if we are not sure if they are true, we tend to let it out to someone thinking that the way to fix everything is to tell other people. This only spreads the rumors and makes the individuals affected hurt and upset. It does nothing to correct the situation.

So what exactly is a lie?

If you hear something and it doesn't come direct from the individual involved, whether it be good or bad then there is a chance that the information is not correct and therefore, that is hearsay and could in fact be a lie.

There are times when we hear something, but by the time we tell it, it is expanded on some and then the person we tell adds their own take on what they heard from us, and by the time it gets back to those involved it is completely not the truth. That is a lie.

I know that sometimes we realize people will get hurt if they knew what was said about them behind their back, and so we keep it to ourselves, and let the rumors continue, rather than telling the person saying it that they need to stop and they need to talk to the actual individuals involved so that the are aware of whats been said. If we do not, then we are helping to circulate and adding to the fire and perhaps causing detrimental actions to those involved, because we allowed a lie to continue.

I realize there are many circumstances where we would prefer not to get involved, but instead of taking it to the person who it is about, or, telling the person who is saying that they need to stop, then we just allow it to continue. That makes us just as guilty of the lie. We think we are doing someone a favor by not being forthcoming, but in fact, we are more concerned with how others may view us, and in turn we generally really hurt someone who loves us.

More than 90% of lies are generally started by friends or family, and usually it is meant to bring harm to someone.

So why am I bringing this up?

The Bible says, ALL liars shall have their part in the lake of fire.

Yet, somehow we have this idea that it wasn't a big lie, I did it to protect you, it would have hurt worse if you knew, so... how can we not realize then, that what we are doing is still a lie? It doesn't matter the size of the lie, or whether we were doing it for someone's benefit, or thinking it was our way of showing we care, it is still a lie. And ALL liars shall have their part in the lake of fire.

I know lies come in all shapes and sizes and sometimes we don't even realize that we are lying. So, I have compiled a list of lies below for your reference. See if any apply to you?

If you hear something and have not verified it, be it good or bad, and you tell anyone else, then it is a lie.
If you tell someone, you are, or will be somewhere and you are not, or don't show up when you said, then that is a lie.
If you pretend to be something you are not, so that people will think better of you, or less even, then you are lying.
If you say you will do something and you do not then you are lying.
If you act like you are younger than you are, or older than you are lying.
If you well meaning to not tell someone the whole truth about what is affecting them, or even your own life, that is a lie.
If you say I am fine, when the reality is your life is a mess, or you don't feel well, and you think its a way to keep people from thinking you are not a whiner, then you are a liar.
If you say it doesn't matter when someone does something to hurt you, but in your heart or in secret it upsets you, then you are lying.
If you say you made so much, when the truth is you made less or more, then you are lying.
If you don't want to offend someone or hurt their feelings, so you don't tell them what you know, that is a lie.

I could go on and on, but you get the idea. We have this idea that only the lies that we tell knowing full well that we are lying is wrong. But that is A LIE!

So, when you get where you are going, and you stand there thinking you are ok, knowing full well that you did some of the above, do not be surprised when you go the other way, because you believed a lie, and all liars, and those who believe lies shall be damned. Look it up, it is in there. And that is not a lie.

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Decisions, Decisions

We all make numerous decisions everyday from what time we wake up, the clothing we put on, the food we eat, or what we do with our time. We rationalize the decisions we know we shouldn't be making until we are satisfied that we are okay with it. Maybe some of these are familiar to you.

It doesn't matter if I have one more piece of cake.

No one is watching me, so if I do it just this once.

It is just a white lie.

It doesn't hurt to look.

Well, I need the money, so this one time...

Well, if you heard what so and so said, then you would know why I am doing this.

So, I drive a little faster than the speed limit, I am in a hurrry.

It is for my kids, they deserve it.

I will pray thru, I am just not ready now.

I was pricked in my heart today when I read a blog online. I want you to read it as well.

Lust, Pride, and Simplicity Lust is clearly tied to pride (and no, this is not the beginning of my new hip-hop lyrics). We/I lust after things we can't have but don't really want them as much as we just want to know we could have them. Actually, I usually want to take it a step further and fully attain what it is my selfish nature desires before I realize that I don't want it.
Everything we obtain in life comes with something attached. The typical saying is that it's impossible to find something good with no strings attached. Unfortunately, that phrase is usually what old business men say and it is rarely used in the context of the three major sins of our selfish nature.
The lust of eyes may bring us to find fancy new electronics, but they come with a price tag as well as serious time investment that begins to control our lives.
The lust of the flesh may bring me to a buffet, but I can't eat all that food and feel ready to win a speed race directly afterward.
And, finally, the pride of life may convince me that I've got some pretty damn good plans for myself before I realize that I would have been happier had I followed God' will.
You can simply call it consequences if you want to spare yourself the description.
True freedom and joy will arrive when I not only know but also act upon the fact that simplicity and submission of control are more powerful than anything my lust and pride can find.
The above was written by a popular rock star. I quoted it as he wrote it.

He made the decision and he realizes it has cost him. However, we must realize that sometimes the decisions we make affect not just us, but our children, our friends, our family, our church.

I know of a lady who 'goes to church' and has for years, but she has never really been completely sold out. Many have worked with her and her family but it always comes down to she doesn't have time, she has things to do, she is sick, etc. Yet, she is always calling someone for prayer. "Please pray for my sons, they are in jail again. Please say a prayer for my son, he is on drugs, and I don't understand it when he used to have the holy ghost."

Decisons, that were made most likely cost this family their souls.

I have seen other families come into church, but they are for the most part ignored, despite the fact on a Sunday morning, it is usually the pews they sit in that are filled with visitors; but they are not good enough to help out in sunday school , or to sing with the choir.

And then we wonder when those who at one time were so full of God, never come back, because of something that was said that hurt to the core of their soul. It is easy to blame them personally, but the decision a minister made left them feeling they were not welcome. They ask for prayer from friends and family, but their kids are no longer serving God. It doesn't matter that he used to be a pastor, he wasn't good enough because he could no longer support practices that he felt were wrong, so they stopped coming and before long it ended in a broken marriage, and a family destined for hell. Is it their fault, or does the ministry hold some responsibilty as well?

The decisions made possibly cost the church the revival you have been asking God to bring for years. But it isn't your fault, how could it be. If they loved God they would be here, even if they felt like they were not wanted.

Are their things we are doing today that will negatively affect our church, our children, our future? I would hope not, but we all make decisions that bring change in our lives, and most often bring an effect on our future that will cost us heavily.

Lust, pride, and impatience are connected to decisions we make that are usually wrong, but do we even care anymore? God wake us up somehow before it is too late and we are responsible for another soul.


While thinking of this today, I came across a message from First Apostolic Church in Nashville, TN. It was very much worth listening to. It was entitled 'A Decision for a Lifetime.' What is your decision going to be?

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When God Isn't Enough

I am sure some have seen the title and already are judging and saying that God is always enough, but before you respond, read what I have written.
We preach it, sing it, shout it from the mountains that God is enough. He has the ability to carry us, provide, deliver, heal, and provide all we need. While that is true, there are times when God is not enough.

Maybe to some I am having a pity party, but I am not alone in that.

I am going thru things right now that are crushing me beneath the weight. Some of you may know some of it; very few know most of it, and no one knows all of it, but me and God. As a general rule, I stay vague about myself. I am not looking for sympathy, and I do my best to keep my private life private. I guess in a way you could say I am bipolar, because what most of you know about me online is not the complete me if you knew me personally. However, I will not share all of it, but there are times when God is not enough, and I want to explain why I feel that way. I do this with great trepidation but, I am tired of bottling it up.

I have had health issues a long, long time. Almost fourteen years have gone by since I found myself going from healthy, comfortable, and constantly ministering, to where I was too sick to get off a couch. It was a literal hell. Doctors couldn't figure it out. Family and friends walked away, and the church... well they acted like I was a leper. I won't go into more of that now, but maybe someday.

After several years of the loneliness that comes from multiple health issues and people not knowing what to say when God doesn't heal, a friend came into my life. She was apostolic, involved in a music ministry, and at the time she became my everything. Within a few months she rescued me and took me to where she lived, married me of course, and changed my life forever. I loved her children as my own, and for the past several years, they have been my children.

Somehow, we ended up back where I was from, and we came with no preconditions. Since my wife was vey musically talented, she offered to help, and I offered to help any way I could. I had at one time assisted the former pastor. I knew the ropes. I could offer advice, or do whatever was asked of me. Somehow, they got the idea, not from us, that we were there to 'take over' as someone so nicely put it. That was never the plan, there was no plan. However, from that moment, we were treated as outsiders from most in the church and especially the pastor. I didn't understand it. I tried to pray about it, seek advice, but none of it mattered.

I did what I could, but I sat on the sidelines and watched that church die. Oh, it still has a pulse, but its not at all what it used to be, or what it could be. Don't offer to help though. Unless you have deep pockets you won't be considered.
I know I sound bitter, and perhaps I am a little.

Anyhow, over the past couple years, after seeking the mind of God about leaving, staying, or what to do in general, my wife and I decided to start a church. It wasn't just about how we were treated, people were showing up at our house who we didn't know and asking us about God. We did a lot of soul searching, tried to leave, prayed for a new minister to come, did everything because we did not want to start trouble.

However, last spring, everything started falling into place. Someone I had never met called and offered to pay six months on a building if I could find one. My wife was excited, telling friends at work, people in the grocery stores, and planning to take a big family photo and splash it all over the newspaper.

It was exciting, we found a building we could use for up to five services a month for $250.00.

Three weeks later, my wife comes home from work, tells me she and the kids are moving to Texas, she has another 'man' and that we should have never been married. Around the same time, the doctors diagnosed me with leukemia.

My whole world crumbled.

I tried to find comfort in the church, but I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. It was basically non-existant. It still is. Yes, I still go to church, but for the most part I don't see any reason to. The few people at church who do talk to me are 'praying for you.' Although there are those who tell me the leukemia and the divorce is because I am in rebellion to the pastor, or that I must be running from God.

Please understand, I know I am not the only one who goes through trials, I know I am not the only one who is sick. I also know that when I had friends going through things, I was there for them. I do not understand why they cannot be there for me.

There is a lot of things I do not understand, and yet, his word gives direction to issues like these but it seems that part of the bible does not matter.

Bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.

For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.

For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not. Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee? Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.

I guess what I am trying to say is we cannot pick and choose which scriptures we listen to. I have served God my entire life. I grew up on a church pew, I have been a minister, evangelist, sunday school teacher and director, youth pastor, and on and on. Yet, I am like so much drivel tossed aside when trouble came to me.

And I wonder, is it just me? Did I do something to deserve this? Or is this how everyone from new convert to elderly saint gets treated when the 'church' doesn't know what to say?

You don't know how it will change someone's life to invite them out for supper. Or perhaps see if they want to go shopping with you, or maybe take them a loaf of home baked bread, or a pie. But instead, we get so caught up in our own lives we neglect the ones who need us the most, because, we must be about the work of the Lord.

Does anyone visit the widows and orphans anymore? Does anyone still visit the sick, the backslider, or send them a card or anything? We can pray til we have no words left to say, but sometimes all that is needed is a listening ear, and it seems no one has that anymore.

I know you think I am whining. Kind of like Elijah did, Moses did, David did, Joseph, Jeremiah, Jonah... and yes, even Jesus was lonely. He just wanted someone to spend a little time with him in prayer, but they couldn't make the effort. We all think we are the one who is different. If we were the one asked.. we'd be the first to do everything to help.

I joined everyonesapostolic with that in mind. I needed someone to confide in. I needed a listening ear, and maybe some advice. I had never been thru a divorce before, let alone leukemia. I knew there were other apostolics online who had been thru things, so I decided to try it out.

I made a couple of 'close' friends who I was willing to listen to and I opened up to them some as well. I was finding strength in the midst of the storm. I had a shoulder to lean upon if only online or a phone call. I started seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. One called me almost daily to make sure I was doing good; went so far as to invite me to move to where they were, and even had me talk to their child on the telephone. They gave me reason to believe I mattered, and that they wanted to be a part of my life, even if it was hard. But just like always, in a flash they were gone. The three I opened myself up to, trusted, and gave me a glimmer disappeared in the dust.

I guess that is the way it is. Maybe I shouldn't trust anyone. Maybe I should just live a solitary life, because it seems that anyone who gets close to me, God yanks away. I find myself wondering what is wrong with me? But is it really me? Is it God? Or have we become so content with who we have become that we ignore those who need a lift once in a while? Is our own wants so important that we don't care who we hurt in the way to our goal?

I am sure there are some of you after you read this will turn and walk away and I will never hear of you again. Why should you be any different? If we are not always happy go lucky, take it all in stride, don't make waves, then no one wants to get close. I understand that. I don't like negative people.

But I am tired of complacency. I am tired of bottled up anger or grief. I am tired of talking to people who are literally going thru hell and trying to help them out when I have a hell of my own to contend with. I am tired of being vulnerable only to have it shoved in my face. I am tired of hearing about miracles, I want to see one in my own life.

Does any of this sound familiar to anyone else? Am I the only one who feels this way? I seriously doubt it.

I guess the answer I have been searching for is to not let anyone close. Just shut my mouth, not make waves, and just take it like a man. Maybe I am just not worthy.

It is a new generation. We are in a sinking ship, and there are only a couple of life preservers left, and no one is willing to take a chance that they are the one who can save someone else. Life perservers can usually hold a lot of weight. Would it hurt to help someone else stay afloat for a bit? All it would take is wrapping your arms around them and letting them know you will help them hang on.

Naw. Let them sink. It's what everyone else does.

Could God create a boat just for them? Sure. Could he bring about a miracle just for the one in need? Sure. Could he change the situation? Sure. But sometimes, he needs our help.

There is nothing like the feeling when that person you brought to church gets the holy ghost. There is nothing like the feeling, when the person you prayed and fasted for gets their miracle. There is nothing like a hug to someone who is lonely.

Can God do it himself. Sure. But just like God cannot make anyone love him, he cannot make anyone love us. There are times when even God isn't enough.

He hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him. He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise him; he hath put him to grief.

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Do They Know I Am One Of Those?

While browsing the internet today, I came across a story on CNN about people who wear their faith on their sleeve. You can read it here for yourself.

It got me to thinking about my own life, and the lives of those around me.

There was a time when you could go the grocery store and pick out the Pentecostals or Apostolics. Not just because you saw them in church, but everyone knew who they were. We acted different, talked different, would walk away if someone started to tell a dirty joke. Our hair was different. People knew we didn't watch television or movies, and even though they thought we were wierd, they treated us with respect.

Even if we were not over the top witnessing, those around us knew what we believed, and had either visited themselves, or knew someone who did. They had heard the stories of how we did crazy stuff, shouted in church instead of sit there solomnly, and while it was scary it was a bit intriguing. We had them curious.

In church recently, I overheard a couple of pew-raised youth talking about the "awesome special effects" in the movie they just saw. When I go around town, I don't even always recognize those from my own church, because they don't look the same.

I have been told its the change in generation, but we have blended in with the crowd. We don't look different, except at church. I hope we still talk different, but I have my doubts. Our conversation should still be holy, but with television in most of our homes, video rentals (it doesn't appear so much like we are part of the world that way), how can everything that proceeds out of our mouth be something Jesus might say? It used to be popular to wear those WWJD bracelets, but now .. if it doesn't have some garish logo or something that looks grunge, our youth won't wear a shirt that says anything about Christ.

Our older generation for the most part seem complacent with things being as they are, because after all, 'we are praying about it.' Everybody prays, no one does anything.

I have a young friend who is a charismatic preachers daughter. You know the ones. They don't act like we do, they can't possibly have the same holy ghost, and well.. you know. Last fall, she was beaten and nearly raped by the son of preacher. She was missing for two days, and we worried she was dead somewhere. She walked home barefoot, with torn clothing, all battered and bruised, and no one stopped to help her. She walked more than 15 miles like that, and tried to rest on the street when she was too tired.

I talked to her and her sister the other day, and she has forgiven the guy who did it. Not only that, she became friends with him. My first reaction was how could you? Are you crazy? You know he has been abusive to you. But she told me, "that yes he grew up on a pew, but he doesn't know the Jesus I know. Maybe somehow, I can lead him to the truth."

Part of me thinks she is playing with fire, but part of me is ashamed of myself. I am not like that. When I hear what she went through, even I want to get a bat and send the guy straight to hell. But she has completely forgiven him. In her voice, you can hear she is christian. I wonder if my voice says the same thing?

But, I keep thinking to myself, do we still live the life we used to be laughed at for, or have we mutated into something that still looks the part, but only when its convenient. Do they still know we are different?

Just yesterday, someone who I had a lot of trust in, told me about things that have happened at National Youth Congress, and he was bragging about it. I am still in shock about it today. I honestly don't know if I would allow my daughter to go because of what he said to me.

The bible says "by their fruit, ye shall know them." On the CNN article, those men are abused, laughed at, criticized for their faith. Yes, they don't know God like we do, but can we still say the same about us? The bible also says we 'are a peculiar people.' Are we still?

Do they still know we are the ones to run to in a time of misery? Do they see Jesus in us? Are we still the shelter, the hospital, the cleansing station?

I haven't heard the songs that used to bellow out from our pews in years, about the blood, the cross, the sanctity of our worship. The other nite at the end of service, people were in the altar, and I felt the old standby song we used to sing, "Here I am Lord, Here I am." It used to be a call to worship and pour ourselves out before the Lord, but instead it was replaced with something with a beat, and no real submissive spirit to it. The worship lingered for a bit and was gone, and then off to the local eatery.

I feel sad tonight. When I look at the chaos the world, the financial ruin we are headed for, it truly feels like the end to me. We hear the stories of this one or that one takign their lives or the lives of their family, because they don't know how they are going to support them. Our government is taking over everything it seems, and those in real need are left without.
When it gets really bad, who will America's hurting turn to? Who are our children going to turn to? Will they even be able to tell there are some of us who still believe it like we used to? Will they be able to see the Christians who truly wear Jesus on their countenance?

I need to do better and let Jesus be on my sleeve.

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Struggling...

Sleep has been fleeting lately; partly because I haven't felt well, partly because there are things that are disturbing me. My nights for the most part leave me with more questions than answers.

For many, I am sure the situation is very similar. There are decisions we have to make in our lives, and the thoughts we are bombarded with have grown astronomical in size. It seems impossible to go on, and yet, impossible to keep up the fight. My soul cried out in anguish in the middle of the night. The loneliness, the feeling of rejection, and the doubts that can enter our mind in the midst of the battle.

It seems there is something different in the air, and while I cannot place my finger on it, it troubles me deeply. I am sure could attribute it to my health, my family, or perhaps the changes that are about to take place in my personal life. But to me it seems like more than that. I find myself tonight questioning God.

Why does this or that happen? Why does it seem like some with little thought for God prosper while others whose main desire is to live for God and do his will, seem to be bashed around like driftwood in the sea?

I am bewildered at the precipice my life seems to be hanging on, and yet deep inside me I know I have to hang on for just a little while more. I do not understand why God doesn't come with a vengence. I do not understand why he lets the righteous suffer, while the unrighteous seem to get away with everything. It seems like the entire church world has gone cold in spirit, including us, and yet instead of banding together and praying as a body, we go our seperate ways standing alone in the midst of it all. It isn't supposed to be like this.

I know I am not alone in my feelings. I know many are struggling with the why me's, the please Lord's, and the hopelessness that seems to be abounding. We are told in our churches that we just need to pray, hang on, hope, or some other cliche, while in our hearts we are emotionally bleeding out. We don't want to continue going to church. We don't want to fellowship with each other. We don't want to try and help a brother or sister out. We have become shallow in our respect for each other, and it is filtering down to our children and their respect for us and God.

But, no one seems willing to step up an do anything about it. Everyone seems afraid they will get their hands dirty if they stoop to lift a brother. The bible says if the righteous scarcely be saved, wherewith shall the unrighteous. Yet, we have closed our hearts, our minds, and yes our wallets to the work of God.

And it seems God has walked away from us as well.

Tonight I remembered a song Sis. Mickey Mangun used to sing. I tried to find a copy of it online but was unable. But essentially a few lines say;

"Only the sound of the trumpet
keeps me from going home
If things had been left up to me
I'd have been gone a long time ago
I am ready to fly away,
oh so anxious for the rapture day,
everything is in order
my record is straight,
Can't anybody understand?
I just can't wait . . ."

I truly feel that way tonight. I do not want to be a part of this anymore. I want to go where I am welcomed with open arms. I want to know that when I am in the supermarket, that friendly christian faces smile when they see me. I want to hear my phone ring when I am missing service, or even when I am not to someone inviting me to have dinner at their house. I want to hear laughter and joy as we gather together in fellowship with those who believe the way we do. I want to come together in God's house in one accord and see the mighty masjesty of his anointing fall. It never seems to be that way though.

We go about our lives to preoccupied with where we have to be; what we have to get done; how we must succeed in our jobs, schools, lives, until there isn't room for anyone else to feel welcome.

And yet, some do not understand why I want to go home? I am tired of the lonely nights. I am tired of pouring myself out on the altar only to find just a few days later it wasn't enough for the trials I must face that day. I have been in this fellowship of believers for entirely too long to feel unwelcome. I am tired of politics rearing its ugly head in our ministries. I am tired of a little praise and worship being enough. And I am wondering if I feel this way, then what about the new convert? What about those struggling who have only been in church for a little while? What about those who have been longing for God, yet cannot find him?

We used to be the storehouse of mercy. We used to be known for friendship and fellowship, when fellowship wasn't about just going to Applebees after service. We used to be looked at as peculiar in our dress, mannerisms, and worship. I remember years ago a message being preached, and the speaker spoke of going with some of the saints door knocking. He knocked on an elderly lady's door to invite her to church, and her question to him was "Do you still preach it like you used to?"

Now we are more caught up in personality and programs. It is about whose (pastor) church we go to instead of where we worship. It is about hearing this one or that one preach and the excitement we feel when they come to where we are, when the bible says the gifts were poured out to all who believe. Are they the only ones who still have enough faith to see God move. Do we need to take another offering to support this or that cause, when we have people going to hell on the church pews?

I am certain some would think I am too critical, or that I have lost touch, or my burden isn't where it ought to be. But my heart is grieving for what we were. My mind is overwhelmed with the ground we have lost in our desire to do the right thing. It seems like we have lost our focus on what really matters, and yet you wonder why I do not want to be here anymore?
I have heard for almost fourteen years how no one really understands the trial, but that somehow I have to find faith to believe that this battle I am struggling with shall pass, or at the very least, when I see glory I will understand why I must endure. I have heard the accusations of lack of faith and even rebellion when my body was writhing in pain, and when my spirit was broken, if I questioned the situation I found myself in.

I know it is not about the trial. I know it is not significant in the greater scheme of things. I know that someday things will be better. However, I am also looking at the destruction of those I hold dear to my heart. I am seeing those who at one time were strong in faith, falling like flys who have been sprayed with a toxic fog. I am hearing the cries of backsliders in the night, and the calloused echo of 'if they really loved God' makes me want to hurl.

We have to find some way of getting back to where we need to be. I know that all the past was not good, but there were many ministries we did just a few years ago that worked. Now they are tossed aside as not in keeping with today's world. We have become focused on the technological aspects of church, more than the pure and undefiled worship of almighty God.

So I am asking God, why? How much longer should you tarry til we all are lost? How many more have to slip from the bounds of grace until there is no hope left and they go out into eternity lost without you? How much more shall we endure before you step in and say "enough?"

Can these bones live? Lord, only thou knowest. But please bring the wind again, or blow your trumpet, so we can go home.

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Disposable People

I have been thinking about this topic for sometime now, and lately the relevance of the idea has become paramount in my own life, so I feel like I should say something.

All of us like to think we matter. Whether it is on our jobs, at church, or at least in our own families, we want to know we count. However, there is a perception that seems to evade many of us, that some people are, well, to put it in the easiest terms, not needed.

It seems society places such a huge stigma on certain people and if you do not fit the image that they expect of you, you simply are not needed; not even wanted sometimes. I know many of us at one time or other have felt like we were not wanted, but truth is we like to hide behind our fears and our insecurities and not even think we are the ones they are talking about.

Magazines, movies, television, and now even apostolics have placed us all in boxes based on our appearances, money, or other criteria. We look at people based on preconcieved ideas of who they must be based on our perceptions of what we have heard, or our own prejudices of certain features of life, and all of us are guilty of this in some fashion or other.
We like to think and rationalize our behavior by using other criteria to categorize people, but in the back of our mind we know what we really think. Let's be real here. "That person is too fat, too ugly, wears their hair funny, or doesn't wear the latest fashion, so they cannot possibly be as good me."

I laughed the other day when my son came home wearing clothes my mother would have thrown away when I was growing up because they looked like they came from the bottom of the rag bag. We wouldn't have been caught dead in clothes like that because we may have been considered poor, and we couldn't have that. My son, on the other hand was wearing clothes that were brand new. He bought them at the store that way, and paid entirely too much for them! But that is the style that is accepted now, and he wanted to fit in. I can relate to that, all of us want to fit in, but what about those people who do not fit the stereotypical criteria, do we exclude them just because they may not look, or act, like us?

Yes, we do. All of us are guilty of this on some level. Maybe we do not want to sit by the fat man on the bus because there is a chance he may smell, or near the mother with the baby on the airplane, because we want to have a good trip, and that doesn't include a crying baby next to us. Some of us would cross the street, rather than come close to someone of a different ethnic background, and most of us wouldn't even think of venturing in certain parts of town, because, well, that is where the bad, "insert ethnic group here", poor, druggies, drunks, live. We base our feelings based solely on who we think people are. Sometimes, we are afraid of people just because they look or act different.

This is never going to change. Society is always going to place stereotypes on certain people. The sad thing though, this same attitude has become pervasive in the church, and yes, even in the apostolic, pentecostal movement. If people do not fit our mold, we assign them a type, and we don't fellowship, associate, or God forbid, allow them to participate in our services. This is a travesty, and I am certain God is not proud of us.

We have become the Levite, willing to pray for the sick, hurt, abused, outsider, but we will not cross the street to see if we can help somehow. It is killing our churches, and it will change us all.

The scripture says, "I looked for one to stand in the gap, and didn't find one." That is the generation we live in. We are blessed, no doubt, and we think we have the best preachers, singers, teachers, that money can buy. Yes, I said that money can buy, because some churches base who is good enough to be even a praise singer, based on how much money they put in the offering or how much tithe they pay. Yes, it is a fact. It shouldn't be, but it is.

Countless churches build edifaces to themselves on the notion that they are building for revival. They take man-made objects and elevate the style of the building, and yes, even the style of worship on what they percieve is what is wanted in this 'contemporary society.' They call themselves apostolic, because Pentecostals have become more mainstream and even trinity, and they cannot possibly be associated with that. How arrogant we have become, in our standards and attitudes about others.

There are many churches created solely from people who have been hurt, and yet we claim God can heal, deliver, etc and that He is bringing revival while people who have gone to church for decades are headed out the door in marital problems, financial issues, or simply because they have realized no one really cares about them. I know I sound angry. I am!

The prophets of old were angry when they saw the people of God breaking the very rules of God simply because it wasn't the way they wanted to live. We have joined society in pushing aside people and our excuse is they must not have had a great relationship with Christ. Really? Just this past week someone told me the reason for a situation in a family was because they were in rebellion against the pastor. I asked how they knew that, and the lady talking to me, said "Honey, everyone knows they were out of line, just ask anyone in our church." Appalling.

Jesus came to heal, save, and deliver, but we have taken his message and used it to puff ourselves up; create cliques; and decide who is worthy of the blood. I am ashamed for everytime, I have thought of approaching someone to just be nice, and walked away because, they were fat, or weren't dressed right. How can we win the lost, or even be Godly ourselves if we categorize people?

We cannot.

Do you realize that had Jesus been born in our generation, he wouldn't have been allowed in our pulpits?

He was concieved in an unmarried woman, and so automatically some would have looked down on her. He came and made himself of none effect; in other words he chose to be born in a family that did not have wealth. His earthly parents made do with what they had, or worked hard. Even in the bible he wasn't considered a 'man of God.' They called him the carpenter's son. He did not many miracles amongst his own because of their unbelief in his power. Appalling I know, but in reality, we wouldn't have treated him any better.

There are always discussions about whether Jesus had a beard or long hair. He walked everywhere, or caught a ride, because he didn't own his own transportation. He didn't even own property, and slept wherever he could find rest.

Homeless!

He is the one we serve, and yet we won't show up to donate food most of the time to foodbanks, let alone give a homeless man a sandwich. I could go on and on, but I think you can get my point.

Jesus said 'inasmuch as you have done it unto others you have done it unto me.'

This doesn't just apply to feeding the hungry, but it also applies to those who are hurting, or perhaps have an unused ministry.

Why, preachers, pastors, do we not use the tools, talents, abilities God has given us? I know of ministers who have been pastors for years, and are now cast aside like yesterday's leftovers, while we bring in people without anointing to be the ministers. I was told by a friend of a pastor who uses his backslidden sons for his worship leaders when he knows the night before they were playing in a dance band at a local bar? WHAT?

It has been a long time, since I heard some elderly sister wail in the corner for lost souls. It has been a long time, since the value of people was not based on what they wore, or how they looked, but it was based on how they worshipped.
Gone are the days when we labored in the altar for one soul who might need Christ. Now, it seems as soon as the message is over, we are already at the local fast-food place in our minds, and the altars are empty.

I know all churches are not like this, but there are so many that are, that I wonder when Christ does come will he find us watching, or checking out a menu at McDonalds?

Where is our burden? We preach about soul winning, revival, and loving our neighbor, while we wipe our hands with antibacterial handcream after shaking hands, if we even do? Have we know faith, no compassion left?

I don't know about you, but I don't want to be lost! Jesus said to go after the halt, the lame, the poor, the wretched, that his house may be full. I don't know when it became how much you can put in the offering made a difference in the eyes of Jesus. He said the least shall be the greatest, and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted, and yet those with their heads bowed, sometimes in shame because they do not have the best, or cannot put much in the offering are looked at as less than good enough people. Disposable people.

Does anyone call them up when they miss a few services? Does anyone remember their name?

When he comes, there are going to be many who say, 'didn't we do this, or that in thy name?' He is going to shake his head sadly and say, 'I don't know you.' It really isn't what big thing we do for Christ, although that is what we say. It isn't the amount of money we put in the offering. It isn't whether or not we look the part. It isn't even if we can preach good.

It is whether we have done what we could to lift our brother who is hurting. It is whether or not we have called the lonely, or taken them out for a hamburger. It is the ones, that stoop low, and wash their brother's dirty feet, and give a blanket to the widow woman that are going to be sitting there next to Jesus on that day; the ones who have done to the least of these, have done it unto me.

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