He Came Unto His Own

The last few weeks my life has been different. No, it may not be noticeable on the surface, and some who believe they know me well might not even catch it, but something happened recently to change me.

I do not think I am a better person, or that somehow I have reached a greater plateau but one morning a few weeks ago,  I had an experience that wakes me up in the night.

I grew up in church. There were times I even fell asleep on the pew. Good times, and a few times where I didn’t really want to be there, but there are lingering memories of days gone by that molded me into the person I am today.  Is that a good thing? I am not sure some days. I am human and I have my faults, but there beats within my heart a purpose that regardless of how I feel at any given moment, I know where I belong.

I have heard the sermons of the prodigal son, the good shepherd, and the crucifixion. My eyes have been swollen with tears as my mind painted a vivid picture of Christ hanging on the cross. I saw the beating of those thirty nine stripes across his back for my healing, and at times I do not understand why I struggle with health issues because I know the power in each of those blood spattered scars upon his back.

I have heard the wails of an old saint burdened down in intercession for a lost soul. Maybe it was their child, their husband, or perhaps just the burden for the lost was so intense the moan came not just from their lips but from the utter depths of their soul.

But did any of it change me?  Yes, to a large degree I have lived my life in the shadow of the cross. I have been the good child, that never really desired to stray to far from the altar. I wanted to be about ‘my Father’s business.’

Growing up in a pastors home was not an easy life. Back then, pride was not allowed, and a self-righteous spirit would have been quickly scolded. We were taught respect for the House of God, as well as the ministry. And if we took the name of Jesus in vain, well if we didn’t get a stern look, the shame we felt later when we were closing our eyes to sleep pricked our hearts with guilt and tears would flow down as we apologized to God for our behavior.   But we were still human and we made mistakes.  I have regrets to this day of my attitude, and some things I said or did that may have changed the course of someone else’s life. If I could, I would go back and change it, but that didn’t change who I was.

Like many when they reach the teenage years I rebelled. Oh, I never really did anything of consequence, but when it came to singing solos or being part of the choir, getting up to speak was not going to be my thing. I had no desire to be a preacher. If anything, I ran from it.

Yes, I had seen the good parts, but I had seen the struggles as well of my parents, and others in my family and close to me that were ministers, and I didn’t want any part of it.  A few years later I had a different feeling about it all, but at the time I had other dreams and goals.

I did all the things I was supposed to growing up. I even took some time to go to Bible School, and met some life long friends there.  Looking back I had many experiences that would later shape my life. Moments of excitement when I would preach and see souls come to God. Instances where I would pray for someone and feel the anointing so strong and see them experience their healing.  There were many good moments of ministry, and there were some heavily burdened nights of agony when I realized that the mission was a soul, and they seemed unreachable.

The last several years have been very hard on me. Health issues as well as personal trials at times have dropped me to my knees to where I thought I could not handle anymore. I began to understand some of the conflicts with self and the flesh that surely Jesus must have felt in the garden and on the way to Calvary.

Do I think I was tried like Him? No, but some of my experiences I believe have left me uniquely aware of the agony and perhaps at times, hopeless feeling He must have had. 

Around Easter every year for the last several years, I always feel a sense of guilt and questioning.  I will never really be able to completely ignore or erase these feelings not because of what I did but because of what I did not do.

It was many years ago when I was very involved in the ministry of my church, and I had taken a night to go watch a Passion play at a local church. Our church never put on any really big program, and it was not a church night so I didn’t think it would be an issue if I went for the one performance.  Little did I know that that experience would affect me many years later.

I think I went with a couple church friends, but to be honest I do not recall any of them. The impact that was made in my memory was not about who I went with, but rather a couple events that transpired while I was there.  The production was good. It covered a good amount of Jesus’ life in small glimpses, and then was more detailed when it got to the time Christ entry into Jerusalem on a donkey (yes, they had a donkey in the church), the Last Supper, and hanging Jesus on the Cross. But the moment that stands out in my mind was the Garden of Gethsemane scene.

Even though I had grown up with this message, and spent my life trying to do the right thing, and reaching out to others even to the point of ministry, that moment in time still brings tears to me even as I write this.  I felt like I was experiencing the agony Jesus was under as He prayed for the cup to pass from Him.  Paintings of Jesus in the Garden typically show a figure of Jesus with a beam of light showing down on Him from heaven. They depict him most often in some flowing robe with a calmness about Him.

But that wasn’t the way it was in reality. This was the moment of His greatest agony. This was the moment He was most human. I believe he writhed about, sweating, crying, maybe even screaming, as He begged for the pain He knew must happen to be taken away. Perhaps there was another way for mankind to be saved?

His clothes were disheveled, probably torn, and certainly dirty as He knelt, or lay upon the ground pouring out everything He had. Maybe He walked a bit in similar fashion to many old time preachers who would pour their souls out to God against the wall of the old church building, or stood there with His eyes turned down as many do at the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem.

No one really knows what it was like, but it wasn’t pretty. It was an old fashioned prayer meeting. I have been to some of those and they aren’t happy or joyful events most times, but they are burdened cries in the darkness, and stammering lips pleading with God for a soul.

The difference was, even though His closest disciples were with Him, He was all alone. At the Passion play I experienced this in living examples. I saw the agony He was going through, while those who should have spent a little more time with Him, knowing He had just given a heart rending speech to them at the Last Supper, knowing change was coming. But instead, they slept.

Looking around, He noticed, and walked over to gently wake them. He asked them to please pray with Him. He was in the hour or His greatest need, and instead of rising to the occasion, they slept. 

Have you ever really thought about that? When we pray, we are the ones asking God for something, but at this moment in His humanity, Jesus asked for something for Himself.  What if we were met with the same response when we asked of Him?

Again, He came to find them sleeping, and again asked for just a little bit of time for them to watch and pray with Him. And then finally a third time, He came to find them asleep again, and He let them sleep as the hour was that He was to be delivered unto the Priests and those that were determined to take His life.

To me, that is one of the greatest moments in the Bible.  He became most human at that moment and was in need, and those who were closest to Him, turned their backs. Yes, it is true that just a few hours later, Peter denied and even cursed Him, but this was a moment forever etched in my mind as life changing.  I recall the tears in my eyes as I realized just how alone Christ was at that very moment.  His very own people missed a huge opportunity to know Christ on another level.

A few minutes later I missed an opportunity as well, and it comes back to me every Easter.

At the end of the production, they invited people to come to the front for the ‘Sinners Prayer’ and I stayed where I was since that is not what I believe, but I recall seeing a young woman who couldn’t quite make it up to the front but was standing with tears streaming down her face, her mascara running, and obviously being moved by the spirit.

My heart told me to pray with her, but I was not a minister there, did not even believe the way most of the audience believed and so for me to step out when it ‘just wasn’t my place’ seemed like an irrational thing to do. I stayed in my pew, and saw her slowly make her way more forward and disappear into the crowd.

I will never get that moment back. I will never know what happened to that young lady.  I had a moment where I could have perhaps changed a life, and I didn’t take it. And for the rest of my life, I have to live with it.

Now, I am sure some are saying but you are taking one moment in time, and God understands. Surely, He does, but I could have made an effort. And I didn’t. I am just as guilty as the disciples who slept while Jesus poured out His soul.

He Came Unto His Own

John 1:11 states, 'He came unto His own, and His own received Him not.’ Jesus was not really accepted by his people. Sure, there were many who showed up when He was handing out miracles and doing good, but of the thousands who followed Him for teaching and miracles, only a handful were there always, and then when He needed them, they slept, they cursed, they denied they even knew Him.

Pilate wanted to let Jesus go. He saw no reason for Jesus to die. And if you notice, it wasn’t the poor, the hungry, the hurting that were screaming for Jesus to be crucified, but rather those in the ministry. It was some of those who He fed on the hillside. Perhaps one of those He stopped to hold their child as He ministered to their needs.

It was those who He encouraged and expounded the scriptures with that turned aside and even clamored for the death of Christ. Can you imagine? It wasn’t the Roman soldiers that wanted Jesus to die. It was those who were His own people. The church wanted Him gone. They didn’t like knowing He could see through their traditions and theologies. They felt threatened by what He knew and the authority at which even nature responded to His voice. They couldn’t let that continue. They had to destroy Him.

I have experienced similar behavior myself from some church leaders. Some of you know a lot of what I have been through but for the most part I keep it to myself. I haven’t ever been pushed aside by those we would call ‘the world’ or even other denominational Christians, but rather by my own people. I am certain that I am not the only one who has experienced this. If we are living the way we should and trying to make a difference in others lives, then it won’t be the outsiders or sinners that will attempt to cause us strife, but rather those that are counted among our own people.

We have preached it for years that our churches are supposed to be a hospital for the hurting, a shelter for the homeless, a comfort for those who feel alone. But instead many of our churches have become so bottled up with our own personalities and philosophies that many times, even the message of Christ does not reach the lost.

James 1:27 says, ‘Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.’

Understand this; I believe that there should be a respect for the House of God,  the ministry, and of course for Jesus Christ. I believe that some of our ideologies and even what we consider traditions were put in place for a purpose. They are not just some self-righteous rant by someone who decides that their way of living is better than the way someone else lives or dresses. There are some definite guidelines in the Bible that laid out for our direction that should not be messed with regardless of rationalization or lifestyle. Living Holy is still the way to go and it should not be compromised.

However, some have become so caught up in trying to build a dominion and grand edifices to the Lord, that they have set aside the very purpose of Christ. They have forgotten the very reason He came. He came to seek and save the lost. He came to heal and deliver. He came unto His own, and they rejected Him.

Maybe it is the Easter season and while I should be celebrating the fact that He rose again, my spirit is grieved within me.  There are situations in my personal life that trouble me, but not to the extent I wake up crying and burdened the way I am with seeing the lost upon the streets of my city.

Earthquakes, tornadoes, wars, strife all around us as the Bible says will be in the end of the age, and yet our church pews are being emptied out to make way for fellowship halls, basketball games, and to some extent open only to ‘those who can pay the cover charge.’

It seems the days when most of our churches were filled with the poor, the elderly,  and the children are quickly being taken over by those who would rather see the church as a business  or event center instead of a hospital. Many churches have went to one service on Sunday and have become so depersonalized chances are you don’t even know the other person at the end of the pew.

If Jesus were to walk through the back door would He even know it was a service? Or would He feel displaced because there was no one there like Him?

See Jesus was a homeless drifter. I know how that sounds, but He said, ‘Foxes have holes,  and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of Man hath no where to lay his head.’  Luke 9:58

And He came unto His own…

How many missed opportunities have we had? Are we losing sight of being a witness, or even just encouraging our brother and sister? Are we too busy to even notice the soul that is nearly gone? Not just the ones on the street corners, but the ones sitting next to us in the pew?

A few weeks ago, I was changed. I have noticed a greater number of people on the streets begging for money or work with their signs. It never used to be a common sight where I live. The few we saw were quickly rationalized to be drug addicts or lazy, and most quickly drove past.

At times, I have actually seen some who have turned begging on the street corner into a business. I watched one climb out of his motorhome, walk over to the corner with his cardboard sign, and stand there hoping someone would give him money.  My spirit wanted to tell him to go find work, but most of the time I didn’t really slow down I just kept driving.  But then one day it was different.

I was headed to Wal-Mart to buy a few groceries and as I rounded the corner I saw him. He was wrapped in several blankets pushing an old shopping cart filled with various odds and ends, and holding a small sign that simply said, ‘I’m Hungry.’ He was straight out of a movie, with a greying matt of hair and beard, an old stocking cap, and worn shoes. I don’t know how far he had come because I had never seen him there again.

I never really slowed down until I got to the doors of the store and I felt pricked in my heart. I had seen countless begging on that same corner and felt nothing, but this time was different.  Payday was quite a ways off, and the amount of money I had at the moment was meager but I couldn’t shake it. I was headed to the back to get my few items as usual, and on the way to the front I put most of them down except for the carton of water and went over to where they sell sandwiches.  I picked out one I would like and headed back outside.

I looked off into the distance where he had been standing and he was gone.  I knew I had to do something, so I went a few blocks out of my way to find him. I got out the vehicle, approached him with a sandwich and one of the water bottles. A tear came to his eye and he stuttered out, ‘Bless You.’

As I got back into my vehicle and drove off I felt different. I am not saying this to brag, and it brings tears to my eyes just reflecting on it, but in that old homeless mans eyes were a gratefulness that I hadn’t seen from anyone in a really long time. I felt guilty because I am not more grateful for what I have.  Sure, like anyone I have trials and tests. I have bills to pay, situations that only God can handle, but I should be more grateful. I should be spending more time worshipping and being loving and kind. I am striving to do better, but I know it’s a process. It won’t happen overnight. But I am changing.

See what I learned was this, ‘It isn’t a sacrifice unless I have to give something of myself to make a difference.’  I should be more willing to sacrifice after all Christ sacrificed everything when He took on Calvary, for me.

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But God…

Just two words. It doesn’t seem like much. It doesn’t seem finished. To some, they would simply pass over  it without a second thought.

However, in those two words hangs the balance of eternity and hope.

Recently I was talking with someone about circumstances in their life. They were really struggling with a situation that was out of their control and really had no idea what to do.

I think we all go through those moments when it seems all is lost.  Even Jesus’ disciples had their moments when it seemed like there was nothing they could do to fix the situation.

In fact, Jesus himself was in the garden praying alone as the others had fallen asleep, and was facing the cross and his humanity was groaning in agony. He did not want to die. He did not want to endure the pain.  Who can blame Him?

I have heard some say, ‘He was God. He knew what was going to happen.’ And He did. But the flesh was in agony just the way we would be in a crisis or a painful situation out of our control.

I know in my own life there have been times that anything would have been easier than facing the things I had to go through.  I would have walked on broken glass, gave away all my worldly possessions, done pretty much anything to not have to go through the trial. But it was not in my control. 

All I could do was be patient, try and keep going, and hope and pray that somehow it would change, or that I would have the strength to endure it.

It seems macabre to think about it, but it was Jesus’ destiny to endure the cross for our salvation. To most of us we don’t really think about the humanity, the flesh, the analytical mind of Jesus. When we think of Him we think of Him as the almighty powerful one. But His human body had the same genetic makeup as ours. He could hurt. He could cry. He could feel sad. He could be hungry, and even though He knew what was expected, it was the same as it would be with any of us.

Sometimes we get bold and proclaim in the midst of watching calamity face others that if it happened to us, we ‘would handle it better, not get upset, just accept it.’  The reality however, is that when we are faced with a death of a child, a divorce, a wrecked car, our house burn down, or perhaps even someone saying something about us that is not true, we hurt too. And in our moments of pain, we might lash out at others, feel hopeless and rejected, or even just give up on life.

But

But is a conjunction. It is used in contrasting something already mentioned with another.

(example: I like red tulips, but my wife likes white roses better.)

It shows the difference on one side or other of the conjunction.

So, when faced with a situation, I know what I would want but that doesn’t mean it will turn out the way I want. It could be worse. It could be better.

The person I was talking to their situation did look hopeless to them, in fact it did to me as well. I did agree to pray however, and didn’t hear back for several days. 

Being honest, even though I know prayer works, there are times when I end up with doubts, even about the things I pray about for others. And when it comes to myself, well… we won’t go there.

I was hopeful, but not expecting a good result.

Then Why?

You may be wondering why pray for someone if you do not believe you are going to see a good result?  We have all heard that if we pray and do not have faith, it will not happen. Most of us have been prayed for at one time or other and never had a result.

At times we might think that the person praying for me does not have any faith. I used to be of the opinion that if you don’t believe you should not pray for anyone.  It just makes sense.

There have been times that I have not wanted some people to pray for me, simply because I did not believe that they had any faith, and I already knew my faith was shaken.

Now, this is not the same as having a negative person pray for you. To clarify, there are some who it seems every word out of their mouth is negative. They are filled with so much doubt about everything that it is always, ‘I don’t know, I am not sure’, or the fall back one that nearly everyone uses but it is still a negative statement, ‘we will see.’

When you say ‘we will see,’ you are already expressing doubt for whatever situation, circumstance, need, desire and so it is basically pointless at that moment. Those people I still do not want to pray for me.

But God

Those two tiny words. The title of this article. When you add God to the but, it changes everything.

I would try and explain God, but there isn’t enough room, time, or intellect to do so. And even if I could, you probably would not understand.

But God is the biggest game changer of all.

We could relate many stories from the Old or New Testament where God’s people were in situations out of their control. Mixed with uncertainty or possibly even dying at the hand of the enemy and it all looked like nothing good could come from it, but God stepped in and changed the picture.

And it really made a difference in the battle which side of the but God you were on. If you were on the side needing his help, then you were going to have success. If you were on the opposite side from the intentions of God however, well, you were finished. There was no maybe, we will see, or what shall we do involved. The situation was going to change, for the good or the bad. You just better be on the right side of the change.

But God In Your Life

Remember when we talked about praying without faith for others? I do believe it can work when we pray for ourselves too. And let me explain why.

We may be in the midst of our darkest despair. We may be going through something that we cannot deal with at all.   We may want to pack it in and just give up on life, on our situation, even on God.

If you tell people you have given up on God, the reaction from most is ‘how dare you?’ Or how can you possibly say that. Trust me, I have been in those situations and had people look like they wanted to slap me.  But, God understands.

He lived a human life. He knows how it feels. The prophets of old are even described as being of like passions such as we are. They got mad, they cried, they felt rejected.  They had their moments of not trusting God as well and yet they were used of God in mighty ways. So, when someone says if we ‘do not have faith we should not bother to pray, ‘ IGNORE THEM!

If we believe not, yet he abideth faithful: he cannot deny himself. 2 Timothy 2:13

So you see, even if we do not have the faith to believe, God does. When someone asks for prayer, regardless of the situation, they are displaying at least a morsel of faith, and when you agree to pray, then you are giving them even more faith, even if you have your own doubts. So, there is always a reason to pray for someone else.

Who knows, it might even be what you need to get your own victory.

We may not expect or even believe in a good result but we have to remember it is not up to us.

The disciples were headed to the other side of sea. Jesus was tired and went to sleep in the bottom of the boat. A storm arose, and whipped the boat around, lightning, thunder crashing, waves overflowing the boat. They were afraid. Most of us would have been.

This took place after Jesus fed 5000 with just a little boys lunch so you would have thought the disciples would have had plenty of faith, but they too were human. This wasn’t breaking up morsels of food, this was a storm that could take their lives.

These were men who walked and talked with Jesus on a daily basis. They knew Him in the personal relationship that most of us wish we could have. Surely, we would react differently?

In their fear, they woke him up. He arose, rebuked the wind, calmed the sea and there was peace upon the waters.  The situation had been scary to the point of death. We have all been there too. But God stepped in and it was all calm.

I remember several years ago a teen girl was in a very bad car wreck. She had severe head trauma, paralyzed on one side, was in a coma, on life support and the doctors were doing everything they could to keep her alive.

She lived on the machines with oxygen being forced into her lungs,  remaining in the coma for several months. Family members, ministers would go visit her and pray, and talk to her and be positive in the room because they say coma patients can hear what you say.

Finally, the family and the doctors both agreed that there was nothing they could do to change her situation. There didn’t seem to be any brainwave activity, she was basically laying on the bed not moving, the only sounds in the room were the beeps and hums of the machines that kept her breathing. They decided to take her off the machines and oxygen.

About an hour later she woke up.  She still had some difficulties with motor skills being partially paralyzed, but she was alive. Her eyes were open, and she could interact with the doctors, family, and friends. She went back to school.

She ended up graduating high school with honors.

Life for her seemed hopeless. It seemed over. There was nothing anyone could do. But God…

Let God

When God steps into the picture your situation is going to change. One way or other change is coming.

Facing sickness, even death? Financial needs? Relationship problems? Need a job? Discouraged? Lost in sin?

Whatever the circumstance may be, we can only do so much, and most things are simply out of our control. There may not be anything we can do about it. It is easy to get upset, worry, let our emotions get the best of us and most of the time we just try and take care of everything on our own, after all ‘we know best.’

But God can transform the situation. He can taken the most dire circumstance and make it turn out for His glory. Give it to Him. Get your victory!

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Pause and Think About It!

Today while working on projects for a new client, I have spent a lot of time listening to some of the gospel music I listened to growing up. It brought back a lot of memories and the majority of them were great.

There was something about those old songs, that moved the angels and people were brought to worship. The impact of those days is still felt today, and yet some try to get rid of the past, bury it under a pile of 'a new day, a new spirit, change' and think they are doing the right thing.

I am sorry to be a downer, but a lot of the music of today just fills up space. If you cannot sing the glory down, and lift each other, as you lift the praises up in songs that are just repetition of one phrase over and over and over... then you are missing the whole point of the purpose of music.

In the Bible, there were singers and musicians appointed to lead the way into battle ahead of the armies. Think about that. We hide behind those who are 'stronger, more spiritual, bro so and so, etc' when really it is the job of the praisers to lead the way into the battle. However, it is apparent a lot of the time, that the singers, and musicians, have not prepared themselves, and they lead in uncertain directions, waiting on someone else to take charge. Music orginally was not to be entertainment or space filler, it was meant to change the atmosphere.

Saul, when he was troubled, called for David to come and play that his spirits may be settled. Most churches now, music is an after thought, or something to do before the preaching or during the offering. And frankly, most of the music of today, does not have the same impact as some of the songs of the past.

Gone are the days of Holy, Holy, Holy, The Old Rugged Cross, Crimson Stream, and An Old Account Was Settled. Gone are the days when grandma would wail from the back of the church in agony over someone else's soul. We want it compact, fresh, high impact, and if it isn't... somehow we do not think it belongs. We leave people fighting the battles on their own, and we do our little shout, jump, and then its time to head for some fellowship time.

The difference in yesterday's music from today, isn't that people of today cannot write good songs; some are very good, but for the most part it comes down to the inspiration of the song, and the anointing.

I realize not all songs of today are lacking power and not all of them do not touch lives, but it has been a long time since I was in a revival that went past 9:00pm. Yes, I know people work, yes I know that we have to get up in the morning or have worked hard all day, but there was a day when being in the presence of God was enough to sustain us, and we would get up do what we had to do the next day and come back still refreshed. It changed lives, and you are reading this today, because in that 'past' someone was moved on by the spirit, and they led others and that is why you are here.

In the 1970's the music began to change, and some were worried about this new beat that was similar to the hippies and then disco came along. But the praises still went up, churches were packed, and the truth was still preached. In the 80s, we still had great songs and there was still an anointing, and bus ministries brought in 1000s of children to Sunday School which impacted lives and they brought their families. In the 90s, the anointing wavered a bit, there were a lot of programs on how to do this or that, some wanted to see change, and yet, there was still revival. Then along came 2000 and people wanted change, the programs weren't working; people threw out the standards by which we had been raised thinking that was the reason, and they started making songs to go with this 'new image' the church was trying to achieve. Gone were the hours of weeping in the altar, gone was the wail from the back pew, that just wasn't cool anymore. Instead we brought in light shows, smoke, cranked the volume up, took off our ties and suits, and were surprised when the churches didn't explode with people. Churches going through transition blame it on this one or that, or the fact that 'people just don't love God anymore.'

The reality is, we changed. We got worried about what everyone else would think of us, and we climbed in the box with them. Let's have peace, joy, grace, mercy, but lets leave out the meat of the word. Lets change the words we say to better reflect the change in society; don't want to offend anyone. The message didn't change all that much, but the method of delivery did.

Just this past week I heard of a church that if you happen to miss the service, they will 'text you the message.' Really? Is that what we have become. I love technology, but it is just a tool!

I wonder what would happen, if we stepped away from the computers, the multi-level sound systems, the "online pre-chewed by someone else before us" messages, and actually set aside time to really pray about what God wants. I wonder what would happen if we picked up an old song book and started from the front and sang "Where could I go but to the Lord." But, instead we flip on the radio, "oh that song has a good beat, and its up to date, and I think its cool, so lets learn that one."

And so they attempt to teach it to the church, while half the congregation sits there like they don't know what is going on. Because they don't.

Maybe we all need to go "back to our old landmarks" the places where "we" first found God and remember what is used to be like. Have a few "retro" services and let the glory take precedence over the offering, or the program. Lets spend time feeling out the spirit, rather than checking our email for today's message and figuring that the one you have been sent is good enough for the members.

But I know, we just don't have time anymore...

for things that matter most...

for lives that need direction...

for peace of mind knowing where we are headed...

for that one LOST sheep.

Pause and Think About It!

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Something else; something more...

It is 2:00 am and I find myself wondering why I am awake. I should be resting I know but something woke me up about an hour ago. At times, I appreciate the stillness of the night. It seems that is when God seems to catch my attention the easiest; and a time when it seems easier to hear him calling out my name.

A lot of things have been on my mind lately; important decisions I have to make, why this is happening, or perhaps just trying to make sense of it all. It would be nice if we were allowed to choose every aspect of our lives, but it doesn't really work that way. We can say yes, no, or run away when we are faced with life, or we can accept it, perhaps embrace it, and just move into a new phase.

I guess I have always been more emotional or maybe perceptive about the aspects of my life God is working on, and yet I see others who seem to either disregard or be oblivious to the direction their life is headed, and I wonder why does God allow it to be that way? People who have been completely sold out to God, or seemed to be, so quickly fall away when faced with difficulties. Somehow God has 'forsaken' them, and yet instead of trying to examine what is going on in their lives, they ignore the signs or just don't see what they are doing. Maybe they have become calloused to the point where it doesn't really matter anymore.

I realize there are times when we all just need to take things in stride, and know it will work out, but there are also times when those gentle tugs or the trials that seem to knock us down are trying to wake us up before it is too late.

I don't understand how some can profess to love God and yet, they seem so far from truth, and accepting of the changes, like somehow God is ok with it all. The true hunger for God has been replaced with something else.

We are a generation that knows God, or so we think, and we get so caught up in life that we forget the depths he once took us to. It never used to be a big deal if we spent time in the altar crying out to God and hungering after him. It never used to be a big deal if we were tired and it was a long church service, because we were there with a passion for God, and we found strength in him. It used to be when we were asked to help out, it wasn't just another chore we had to do, or some inconvenience to our lives, but it was a blessing.

What has happened to us? Have we become so complacent that we are not aware of the changes?

I have heard people talk about this as a 'new day.' We have programs and steps to achieve our ministries, rather than anointing and worship. Dedication has been replaced with acceptance; both in our personal lives as well as in our walk with God. There is this perception that God doesn't work the same way as he used to; somehow we have to 'help' him out to achieve his goals. Really?

I know God needs us, but he doesn't 'need' us.

Just recently someone made a comment that they heard so and so was going to another church, and how 'they talk about God moving there. It can't be true though, because they are not coming here like they used to.' We can be so self absorbed thinking God cannot move on someone else who does not look like us, act like us, or maybe sing the same songs we do.
And yet, those who at one time were our prayer warriors, seem to just take it all in stride. 'Oh, God will work it out, he always comes through.' While that is true, it seems like we have become so used to how things are that we don't expect things to be any different and somehow we have forgotten how it used to be. We think God understands, and yes he is the same, but we aren't. Many have become so blinded and yet so arrogant to think that our apathy is just God being patient with us.

I am so troubled in my spirit at things that are allowed to go on and no one seems to care. I am so moved seeing those who I believed in, confided in, and loved seeming to go further and further away from what they believed just a short time ago, and yet, they think they are ok. Whether it is blinded by sin, or just simply not caring anymore, I really don't know, but something has to happen to wake them up before it is too late.

The bible talks about the ten virgins and five let their oil run out, and five kept back just a little so they would have something to draw from when the bridegroom came. Most of the time, we talk about those who let the oil run out. People who were once dedicated, bright, shining examples for God, who have somehow let their light dim and flicker out. We talk about them like how could they be so stupid to not keep the faith, and yet we don't really recognize the reasons their flame has gone out. It could be they got lazy; or perhaps they got so caught up in life, that they weren't aware, but it could also be our fault.

The bible says we are to bear one anothers burdens, but it seems to me that we are so busy in our own circumstances that we don't even see what is happening to our brothers and sisters, or even our own families. I know salvation is one on one. It is between us and God, but when did we see a brother or sister slipping away, and not feel touched, or moved by God to do something about it?

We are supposed to be loving our neighbor as ourselves, and yet most of us have become so wrapped up in our own situations, that we don't even know what is going on in the lives of those around us. I had one person tell me not too long ago, that is wasn't so important that you believed and worshipped the way you used to as long as you gave God an hour or so on Sunday. Really! And this person claims to be in the ministry.

Some have gotten the idea that serving God is about making it to church, singing a few songs, and listening to someone talk for a little while about the bible. It is no wonder some lights have flickered out. Those who are 'ministers' don't have time to minister anymore except for when people make it to church, and I have heard preachers and preachers wives say, 'well, if they loved God, they would be here.'

It isn't that way.

Being a christian used to be about sharing. Sharing what we know; sharing what we have, and spending time worshipping together. It didn't take a continual drone from the platform about how we need to raise funds for this or that program. People gave of their own accord; not just finances, but they gave their time, and their worship was more than just something to do. It used to be that 'pentecostals' were considered oddballs, and you could definately pick them out of a crowd in the supermarket, or the mall. They looked different, they acted different, their love for God and each other was apparent.

Last sunday morning I arrived at church just a few minutes before sunday school, and there was less people there, at least on time, that I could have counted them on two hands and maybe part of a foot. This from a church that used to be known in the community, even despised at times. A church that when you talked about 'those people' everyone knew who you were talking about. Sure a lot of it was criticism, but they knew when they had a real need, where to find the answer.
Now, when I go the store, I almost never see anyone from my church. I almost never see anyone who looks holy. Everyone seems to have blended in to the crowd. A few weeks ago I saw a couple of ladies that looked holy, seemed to have a pleasant disposition, and carried themselves with dignity. I didn't say anything to them, but I wondered if perhaps there was another church nearby that preached the truth. There is only one apostolic church in my area for more than 100 miles, so seeing some who looks like what I remember we used to look like surprised me.

I mentioned seeing those ladies and my wonder to a few people from my church, and almost without hesitaion they all said, 'those are the two-by-two's, they don't believe like we do.' How do we know? Did any of us talk to them? How come we assume that we are the ones with the truth? That we are the ones who have enough oil? And if we are, how come we aren't at least trying to communicate with those who look holy? Maybe we are the foolish ones?

Just like in the parable, the foolish had let their light go out to the point that they weren't even aware of what was going on around them. They went out to find more 'oil' when they knew the bridegroom was coming. We see so many signs of the end, and yet most of us are just content to sit on the pew and not try to get on fire like we used to be. The bible says in the end there will be a great falling away, and frankly, I see it happening everywhere. Not just in those who 'quit church' but in the dedication we have for God and his work.

The thing I have always wondered though, and no one seems to preach is about the five wise virgins and how selfish they were. The principle of God has always been give and it shall be given to you. The widow woman gave to the prophet first, and never ran out of oil or meal. There are many cases like that in the bible and we used to be able to spout off the cases in our own lives where God came through when we did something first. So, why didn't the wise virgins share? Were they selfish with what they knew?

Truly, the bible says 'they all slumbered and slept.' All of them; those with oil; those without didn't try to keep it going, they went to sleep.

So we have a dilema; are we sleeping because we are wise, or sleeping because we think we have plenty of time? Are we truly the wise ones, or are we the foolish?

I am so hungry for a real move of God. Not just the "I came to church, sang some songs, worshipped some, heard some guy speak on some topic I will never remember" move of God; not just the occasional 'miracle.' I have heard people talk about miracles and why are we 'looking for signs, we aren't supposed to be.' That is a cop out, the same as when we know a brother or sister is going thru a difficult time, and we say we 'will pray about it.'

Someone needs to step it up and do something. Jesus said we were supposed to be doing greater things than he did. How many of us can say we raised the dead? Too hard? Yes, I know that only God can raise the dead, but what are WE doing? Or how about just being moved with compassion for someone other than ourself? That shouldn't be so hard.
Our churches have become just social hangouts where we do just enough to get by, and then plan if we will go to Applebees or McDonalds after church.

Again, I am so hungry for a move of God. If we looked in our cupboards and freezer for something to eat and couldn't find what we needed, wouldn't we go to the store? Most of us don't usually go to the grocery store to be seen, or to catch up with someone to make plans to go eat somewhere. We go there to get what we need to sustain us. Sometimes, we even share what we buy with someone else.

That is what the church is supposed to be about. Needing something else, needing something more to not only sustain us but to satisfy that longing. Something that will keep us steady; something that will be enough to keep us until he comes. It wouldn't hurt if we got enough that we could share as well. Someone else may be hurting and hungry; are we just going to walk on by, or are we going to help?

Once upon a time, there were four people; Their names were Everybody, Somebody, Nobody and Anybody.
Whenever there was an important job to be done, Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. When Nobody did it, Somebody got angry because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought that Somebody would do it, but Nobody realized that Nobody would do it. So consequently Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done in the first place.

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Disposable People

I have been thinking about this topic for sometime now, and lately the relevance of the idea has become paramount in my own life, so I feel like I should say something.

All of us like to think we matter. Whether it is on our jobs, at church, or at least in our own families, we want to know we count. However, there is a perception that seems to evade many of us, that some people are, well, to put it in the easiest terms, not needed.

It seems society places such a huge stigma on certain people and if you do not fit the image that they expect of you, you simply are not needed; not even wanted sometimes. I know many of us at one time or other have felt like we were not wanted, but truth is we like to hide behind our fears and our insecurities and not even think we are the ones they are talking about.

Magazines, movies, television, and now even apostolics have placed us all in boxes based on our appearances, money, or other criteria. We look at people based on preconcieved ideas of who they must be based on our perceptions of what we have heard, or our own prejudices of certain features of life, and all of us are guilty of this in some fashion or other.
We like to think and rationalize our behavior by using other criteria to categorize people, but in the back of our mind we know what we really think. Let's be real here. "That person is too fat, too ugly, wears their hair funny, or doesn't wear the latest fashion, so they cannot possibly be as good me."

I laughed the other day when my son came home wearing clothes my mother would have thrown away when I was growing up because they looked like they came from the bottom of the rag bag. We wouldn't have been caught dead in clothes like that because we may have been considered poor, and we couldn't have that. My son, on the other hand was wearing clothes that were brand new. He bought them at the store that way, and paid entirely too much for them! But that is the style that is accepted now, and he wanted to fit in. I can relate to that, all of us want to fit in, but what about those people who do not fit the stereotypical criteria, do we exclude them just because they may not look, or act, like us?

Yes, we do. All of us are guilty of this on some level. Maybe we do not want to sit by the fat man on the bus because there is a chance he may smell, or near the mother with the baby on the airplane, because we want to have a good trip, and that doesn't include a crying baby next to us. Some of us would cross the street, rather than come close to someone of a different ethnic background, and most of us wouldn't even think of venturing in certain parts of town, because, well, that is where the bad, "insert ethnic group here", poor, druggies, drunks, live. We base our feelings based solely on who we think people are. Sometimes, we are afraid of people just because they look or act different.

This is never going to change. Society is always going to place stereotypes on certain people. The sad thing though, this same attitude has become pervasive in the church, and yes, even in the apostolic, pentecostal movement. If people do not fit our mold, we assign them a type, and we don't fellowship, associate, or God forbid, allow them to participate in our services. This is a travesty, and I am certain God is not proud of us.

We have become the Levite, willing to pray for the sick, hurt, abused, outsider, but we will not cross the street to see if we can help somehow. It is killing our churches, and it will change us all.

The scripture says, "I looked for one to stand in the gap, and didn't find one." That is the generation we live in. We are blessed, no doubt, and we think we have the best preachers, singers, teachers, that money can buy. Yes, I said that money can buy, because some churches base who is good enough to be even a praise singer, based on how much money they put in the offering or how much tithe they pay. Yes, it is a fact. It shouldn't be, but it is.

Countless churches build edifaces to themselves on the notion that they are building for revival. They take man-made objects and elevate the style of the building, and yes, even the style of worship on what they percieve is what is wanted in this 'contemporary society.' They call themselves apostolic, because Pentecostals have become more mainstream and even trinity, and they cannot possibly be associated with that. How arrogant we have become, in our standards and attitudes about others.

There are many churches created solely from people who have been hurt, and yet we claim God can heal, deliver, etc and that He is bringing revival while people who have gone to church for decades are headed out the door in marital problems, financial issues, or simply because they have realized no one really cares about them. I know I sound angry. I am!

The prophets of old were angry when they saw the people of God breaking the very rules of God simply because it wasn't the way they wanted to live. We have joined society in pushing aside people and our excuse is they must not have had a great relationship with Christ. Really? Just this past week someone told me the reason for a situation in a family was because they were in rebellion against the pastor. I asked how they knew that, and the lady talking to me, said "Honey, everyone knows they were out of line, just ask anyone in our church." Appalling.

Jesus came to heal, save, and deliver, but we have taken his message and used it to puff ourselves up; create cliques; and decide who is worthy of the blood. I am ashamed for everytime, I have thought of approaching someone to just be nice, and walked away because, they were fat, or weren't dressed right. How can we win the lost, or even be Godly ourselves if we categorize people?

We cannot.

Do you realize that had Jesus been born in our generation, he wouldn't have been allowed in our pulpits?

He was concieved in an unmarried woman, and so automatically some would have looked down on her. He came and made himself of none effect; in other words he chose to be born in a family that did not have wealth. His earthly parents made do with what they had, or worked hard. Even in the bible he wasn't considered a 'man of God.' They called him the carpenter's son. He did not many miracles amongst his own because of their unbelief in his power. Appalling I know, but in reality, we wouldn't have treated him any better.

There are always discussions about whether Jesus had a beard or long hair. He walked everywhere, or caught a ride, because he didn't own his own transportation. He didn't even own property, and slept wherever he could find rest.

Homeless!

He is the one we serve, and yet we won't show up to donate food most of the time to foodbanks, let alone give a homeless man a sandwich. I could go on and on, but I think you can get my point.

Jesus said 'inasmuch as you have done it unto others you have done it unto me.'

This doesn't just apply to feeding the hungry, but it also applies to those who are hurting, or perhaps have an unused ministry.

Why, preachers, pastors, do we not use the tools, talents, abilities God has given us? I know of ministers who have been pastors for years, and are now cast aside like yesterday's leftovers, while we bring in people without anointing to be the ministers. I was told by a friend of a pastor who uses his backslidden sons for his worship leaders when he knows the night before they were playing in a dance band at a local bar? WHAT?

It has been a long time, since I heard some elderly sister wail in the corner for lost souls. It has been a long time, since the value of people was not based on what they wore, or how they looked, but it was based on how they worshipped.
Gone are the days when we labored in the altar for one soul who might need Christ. Now, it seems as soon as the message is over, we are already at the local fast-food place in our minds, and the altars are empty.

I know all churches are not like this, but there are so many that are, that I wonder when Christ does come will he find us watching, or checking out a menu at McDonalds?

Where is our burden? We preach about soul winning, revival, and loving our neighbor, while we wipe our hands with antibacterial handcream after shaking hands, if we even do? Have we know faith, no compassion left?

I don't know about you, but I don't want to be lost! Jesus said to go after the halt, the lame, the poor, the wretched, that his house may be full. I don't know when it became how much you can put in the offering made a difference in the eyes of Jesus. He said the least shall be the greatest, and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted, and yet those with their heads bowed, sometimes in shame because they do not have the best, or cannot put much in the offering are looked at as less than good enough people. Disposable people.

Does anyone call them up when they miss a few services? Does anyone remember their name?

When he comes, there are going to be many who say, 'didn't we do this, or that in thy name?' He is going to shake his head sadly and say, 'I don't know you.' It really isn't what big thing we do for Christ, although that is what we say. It isn't the amount of money we put in the offering. It isn't whether or not we look the part. It isn't even if we can preach good.

It is whether we have done what we could to lift our brother who is hurting. It is whether or not we have called the lonely, or taken them out for a hamburger. It is the ones, that stoop low, and wash their brother's dirty feet, and give a blanket to the widow woman that are going to be sitting there next to Jesus on that day; the ones who have done to the least of these, have done it unto me.

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