Is It Well With Your Soul?

I woke up thinking about a very popular  Christian hymn a few days ago and it has caused me to reflect on areas in my own life and to ask myself the topic of this message. ‘Is it well with my soul?’

 

The first stanza of this hymn is as follows:

 

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

 

Trials and tests are going to come in all of our lives. It is a given that not everything is going to work out the way we hoped or planned. There will be bumps in the road. There will be winds blowing trees down in our yard. There will be circumstances that will get all out of control and will leave us wondering, ‘how can this happen?’ The lightning will crash around us, the rain and hail will pound at our dwelling place; it is a fact, there will be storms.

 

But most of what happens is just wind and noise. It is not meant for our destruction but rather for changing the atmosphere.

 

We can attempt to protect every part of our lives but we cannot control the storms or when they take place. It is simply a part of this journey through life.

 

How Do You See The Battle?

 

The giant had come to terrorize the Children of the Most High.  He led the Philistines against the Israelites  with the intent of causing as much fear and carnage as he could.  And he was succeeding. Not because he had a better army or he was so big that he could not be beaten but because of the fear that gripped the minds of the Israelite army. Even their own leader who was said to stand head and shoulders about everyone else,  was afraid to stand up to the giant.

 

He was too big. He would take everything. He would play games with us and feed us to the dogs. It was too big of  a battle, so instead of taking on the giant, they cowered in fear. The battle was just too big.

 

But then a little shepherd boy enters the scene. He has already fought some other adversaries and won a few battles. When he was out there tending to the sheep, he faced off with a lion and a bear to keep the sheep safe. He knew that most enemies were only as big as their bark. And when he came to visit his brothers in the Israelite camp, he could not comprehend what kind of battle could make the mighty army hide in fear. Instead of running away with them, or hiding because of the situation, he decided it was worth taking on the battle.

 

He grabbed a few rocks, picked up a slingshot, and went to do battle against the giant. He knew that he could succeed because he was not controlled by his circumstance. We all know the story.  He spoke to his battle, aimed a stone, and took out the giant. When the rest of the crowd saw what happened they all of  a sudden became emboldened to fight off the rest of the enemy. The enemy never even knew what hit them. And the battle was won. The difference was not that the battle became easier, but that they saw it through a new vision.

 

 

Who Is In Charge?

 

A lot of people will just go with the flow. Nothing seems to bother them. It looks like they are the smartest ones, because regardless of what happens, they seem unfazed.  Wherever the river takes them is where they are going to end up. Some people will hesitate to step into the water at all because the idea of the waves and the rocks, and the corners seem to be out of control. It is scary and too big of a task to take on. And then there are those who pick up a paddle, chart a direction, and despite the rapids, the rocks, the water coming over the bow, they determine where they are headed.

 

We have a choice. We can either let circumstance dictate how life goes for us and react when we face situations, or we can take charge and be determined and let our lives control the way we react to the battle.  It is not that some have bigger battles, or that others are so much stronger but rather the way we react and the way we adjust to the things that life throws at us.

 

Sure it is easy to go with the flow, but you always have to adapt to where life and circumstance takes you. You can keep from making the hard decisions because it just seems too hard, or you can figure out what you want and plot a course to get you there.  Why settle for something less than what you want, when a little patience and you will get what you desired. 

 

I had a situation like that myself this week. I have been wanting a new couch. I checked sources online and locally. I knew what I wanted.  And then I went into a local store and a big sale sign caught my eye. I checked out the couch that was on sale even though it wasn’t totally what I had in mind.  The salesperson measured it for me, told me they could make me a good deal. I thought about it, walked away, but then came back later that day to get it. I thought  I had found  something I could live with. It wasn’t what I wanted but it was good enough. It had potential.

 

However, when it was delivered and set up, it was too big for the room. I could not maneuver around it. I couldn’t figure out a way to move my other furniture around to make it work.  I had paid cash, so I was stuck with something that didn’t fit my needs, and if I had only waited a few more days, I might have found exactly what was right for me. I let my impatience, and desire for something to fill the void sway me.

 

 

Possibilities, Turns, and Destination

 

If we are afraid to trust it becomes impossible for us to reach our goal.  If we just go along with whatever life throws at us we will come to a destination, but its not likely to be where we expected or wanted.  We need to plan what we want to happen and move toward that goal to end up where we want. We will for sure have twists and turns along the way. We may get knocked down and the waves may crash over us, but we will get there. It will happen. We just have to trust that it is all going to be okay.

 

That is what faith is all about.

 

We cannot let circumstance or trials and test control us. Sure we cannot plan for everything that will come along but we can be prepared to accept what we cannot change and stand  firm in our goal until we reach it. If God has promised, it will come to pass.  He will not hold back  the blessings He has promised. But there are moments we have to shield ourselves or use our own abilities to control the direction we are headed in. Yes, God is in control but he still gives us free will in what we choose to do. ‘He is faithful that has promised.’ Hebrews 10:23

 

But we have to remember if what we want does not seem to be happening when we want, we will have another chance.

In life we get many chances to chart a new course, change direction, and be restored if we have been knocked off our course. Get back up; dust yourself off; try again.  However, when it comes to our soul we only get one chance.

 

 

Is It Well With Your Soul?

 

The bible says, ‘behold I come quickly and my reward is with me.’  While our lives can have many ups and downs and change directions many times, our soul has only one opportunity to reach its destination. There are other final destinations it can reach but wherever it ends up, it stays. There is no other chance to change course. So I ask again, ‘Is it well with your soul?’

 

If you take a look at your life and the things that you hold dear; if you recall the way you have treated others; or those moments in life where we all do not make the right choices or say the right thing; the people we have hurt either intentionally or unintended and never even so much as said sorry? Is it well with your soul?

 

Maybe there are areas in our life we wish we could have a do over, or a mulligan and we have failed to take a moment to talk to those who might have been hurt by our insensitivity  or at least repent. Have we done what we should.  Now I realize not all of us ‘sin’ the big sins, but the one that is most overlooked is self righteousness.  It seems we gloss over the neglecting of the elderly and the infirm, the poor and the lost. We all have areas in our lives where we can do better, change course before it is too late. Make it well with your soul. One chance is all we get.

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Waiting On God

Some days are more of  a struggle than others. Things we expect to happen don’t always work out the way we plan. Many times unexpected events take place in our lives that alter our idea of what our destiny is.

When we are doing everything we know to do and we do not see results frustration can set in. Waiting on God is not an easy task.

Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord. Psalm 27:14

I know. The scripture can seem as a slam almost.  It can hurt even. Does God know what I am going through? Does anyone care?

We have all been there at one time or other.

But God said…

Maybe it was a dream you had where God showed you something amazing or perhaps someone prophesied over you in a revival meeting and we just knew good things were about to happen.

We have prayed, fasted, did our very best to trust in God, and yet the results we wanted did not happen. We think to ourselves ‘what did we do wrong?’ It must be someone’s fault somehow. God answers prayer right?

Impatience & Disappointment

One of our biggest hurdles in trusting God is learning to deal with our own impatience and being disappointed that things did not happen the way we expected.  We analyze and try and fix it. Maybe if we did it another way. Maybe we need to pray more. Maybe we need to move. We become driven to do something rather than just waiting on the Lord.  The problem we have becomes so big in our mind that in time we cannot see beyond it. Our problem begins to define who we are and defeat becomes our address.

We lose sight of the promises God has already given us, and our complexion, our attitude, our lives show it. We begin to blame others as well as ourselves.

Confessions

So, the last few days have been like this for me. Yes, I am still recovering from surgery a couple weeks ago. Doctors are very encouraged that they got all the tumor out of my body, and that I am recovering well. You would think I would be happy and more content than I have been in a while, right? Nope.

I have been discouraged because a couple of things I have been really needing were no longer available now that I have the money to buy it. And then it was service day today and I went excited ready with a  message on ‘Trusting God’ and guess what? No one showed up. No one! There is always at least a few show up at each service, but today when I was all prepared and looking past my disappointment from the last few days, nobody shows up to hear what I prayed about and prepared.

So, after waiting the allotted time, just in case some were late, or perhaps overslept, I started thinking about the promises God has given me and began to wonder if it was all me? Did I do something to mess it up?  Was it just my imagination?  Maybe God really doesn’t want to use me after all. I am trying to do the will of God.

So why is it so hard?  I came home feeling defeat as I changed clothes.  I had forgotten that most of the time when we face difficulties when we are in the process of trying to do what we feel God has called us to do that trouble is going to show up.

Delay Is NOT Denial

There are a multitude of passages of scripture where prayer was given by the prophets and nothing happened. There were delays in reaching the promise land. Even Jesus had to pray a couple of times more than once for someone to be healed.  We focus on the have-not instead of what we do have.  Our eyes get off the promise. Consider Abraham. God promised. Abraham got impatient, he compromised, the promise still came, and become of the compromise those two tribes from one family have been fighting for thousands of years.

So why do we stress about it? Its simple. We are afraid. We look at our abilities and realize that the promises of God are not in our control.

The delay or the slowing of progress does not mean He isn’t going to come through. It isn’t a punishment or discipline, although being raised on the pew we tend to think so, delay can actually be a gift.

How many times do we say we don’t have enough time? How many times do we wish we had more than two hands? We need a break?

But most of us really do not want that. We think hurrying through life, being busy, getting it done soon so we can move on to the next project. We think we have to be busy or it cannot happen.

Slow Down

We get afraid if things slow down then the promise won’t happen. We are afraid of what God might say in that slower moment; we are afraid of what He might ask of us; we are afraid of what we might see happening;  and we are afraid of how we will react to a change in the situation.  When sometimes all we need is to take a breath and realize that we are not the ones in charge.

We get afraid because we don’t trust God. Ironic isn’t it. Here I was going to preaching about trusting God, and I am faced with my own dilemmas about trusting Him.

Waiting on God

Did you ever stop to think that waiting on God might be the most important part? Not getting in such a hurry that we mess it up?  If God said… doesn’t that mean it is going to take place? Or is God a liar? If He said it, it will happen.

So I came home in my defeat and discouragement and got online and in moments came across a message.

Let Your Disaster Move You To Your Deliverance – Jeff Arnold

 

See the thing is we get so busy worrying, trying to do something to make it happen, we miss out on those quiet messages from God that move us toward our destiny.  Elijah kept looking for God in the fire, the earthquake,  and the wind, but God was in the stillness, in the quiet, in the waiting.

So next time it looks like the answer isn’t coming, or the promise has been denied, take a few moments with God and just wait patiently in Him.

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But God…

Just two words. It doesn’t seem like much. It doesn’t seem finished. To some, they would simply pass over  it without a second thought.

However, in those two words hangs the balance of eternity and hope.

Recently I was talking with someone about circumstances in their life. They were really struggling with a situation that was out of their control and really had no idea what to do.

I think we all go through those moments when it seems all is lost.  Even Jesus’ disciples had their moments when it seemed like there was nothing they could do to fix the situation.

In fact, Jesus himself was in the garden praying alone as the others had fallen asleep, and was facing the cross and his humanity was groaning in agony. He did not want to die. He did not want to endure the pain.  Who can blame Him?

I have heard some say, ‘He was God. He knew what was going to happen.’ And He did. But the flesh was in agony just the way we would be in a crisis or a painful situation out of our control.

I know in my own life there have been times that anything would have been easier than facing the things I had to go through.  I would have walked on broken glass, gave away all my worldly possessions, done pretty much anything to not have to go through the trial. But it was not in my control. 

All I could do was be patient, try and keep going, and hope and pray that somehow it would change, or that I would have the strength to endure it.

It seems macabre to think about it, but it was Jesus’ destiny to endure the cross for our salvation. To most of us we don’t really think about the humanity, the flesh, the analytical mind of Jesus. When we think of Him we think of Him as the almighty powerful one. But His human body had the same genetic makeup as ours. He could hurt. He could cry. He could feel sad. He could be hungry, and even though He knew what was expected, it was the same as it would be with any of us.

Sometimes we get bold and proclaim in the midst of watching calamity face others that if it happened to us, we ‘would handle it better, not get upset, just accept it.’  The reality however, is that when we are faced with a death of a child, a divorce, a wrecked car, our house burn down, or perhaps even someone saying something about us that is not true, we hurt too. And in our moments of pain, we might lash out at others, feel hopeless and rejected, or even just give up on life.

But

But is a conjunction. It is used in contrasting something already mentioned with another.

(example: I like red tulips, but my wife likes white roses better.)

It shows the difference on one side or other of the conjunction.

So, when faced with a situation, I know what I would want but that doesn’t mean it will turn out the way I want. It could be worse. It could be better.

The person I was talking to their situation did look hopeless to them, in fact it did to me as well. I did agree to pray however, and didn’t hear back for several days. 

Being honest, even though I know prayer works, there are times when I end up with doubts, even about the things I pray about for others. And when it comes to myself, well… we won’t go there.

I was hopeful, but not expecting a good result.

Then Why?

You may be wondering why pray for someone if you do not believe you are going to see a good result?  We have all heard that if we pray and do not have faith, it will not happen. Most of us have been prayed for at one time or other and never had a result.

At times we might think that the person praying for me does not have any faith. I used to be of the opinion that if you don’t believe you should not pray for anyone.  It just makes sense.

There have been times that I have not wanted some people to pray for me, simply because I did not believe that they had any faith, and I already knew my faith was shaken.

Now, this is not the same as having a negative person pray for you. To clarify, there are some who it seems every word out of their mouth is negative. They are filled with so much doubt about everything that it is always, ‘I don’t know, I am not sure’, or the fall back one that nearly everyone uses but it is still a negative statement, ‘we will see.’

When you say ‘we will see,’ you are already expressing doubt for whatever situation, circumstance, need, desire and so it is basically pointless at that moment. Those people I still do not want to pray for me.

But God

Those two tiny words. The title of this article. When you add God to the but, it changes everything.

I would try and explain God, but there isn’t enough room, time, or intellect to do so. And even if I could, you probably would not understand.

But God is the biggest game changer of all.

We could relate many stories from the Old or New Testament where God’s people were in situations out of their control. Mixed with uncertainty or possibly even dying at the hand of the enemy and it all looked like nothing good could come from it, but God stepped in and changed the picture.

And it really made a difference in the battle which side of the but God you were on. If you were on the side needing his help, then you were going to have success. If you were on the opposite side from the intentions of God however, well, you were finished. There was no maybe, we will see, or what shall we do involved. The situation was going to change, for the good or the bad. You just better be on the right side of the change.

But God In Your Life

Remember when we talked about praying without faith for others? I do believe it can work when we pray for ourselves too. And let me explain why.

We may be in the midst of our darkest despair. We may be going through something that we cannot deal with at all.   We may want to pack it in and just give up on life, on our situation, even on God.

If you tell people you have given up on God, the reaction from most is ‘how dare you?’ Or how can you possibly say that. Trust me, I have been in those situations and had people look like they wanted to slap me.  But, God understands.

He lived a human life. He knows how it feels. The prophets of old are even described as being of like passions such as we are. They got mad, they cried, they felt rejected.  They had their moments of not trusting God as well and yet they were used of God in mighty ways. So, when someone says if we ‘do not have faith we should not bother to pray, ‘ IGNORE THEM!

If we believe not, yet he abideth faithful: he cannot deny himself. 2 Timothy 2:13

So you see, even if we do not have the faith to believe, God does. When someone asks for prayer, regardless of the situation, they are displaying at least a morsel of faith, and when you agree to pray, then you are giving them even more faith, even if you have your own doubts. So, there is always a reason to pray for someone else.

Who knows, it might even be what you need to get your own victory.

We may not expect or even believe in a good result but we have to remember it is not up to us.

The disciples were headed to the other side of sea. Jesus was tired and went to sleep in the bottom of the boat. A storm arose, and whipped the boat around, lightning, thunder crashing, waves overflowing the boat. They were afraid. Most of us would have been.

This took place after Jesus fed 5000 with just a little boys lunch so you would have thought the disciples would have had plenty of faith, but they too were human. This wasn’t breaking up morsels of food, this was a storm that could take their lives.

These were men who walked and talked with Jesus on a daily basis. They knew Him in the personal relationship that most of us wish we could have. Surely, we would react differently?

In their fear, they woke him up. He arose, rebuked the wind, calmed the sea and there was peace upon the waters.  The situation had been scary to the point of death. We have all been there too. But God stepped in and it was all calm.

I remember several years ago a teen girl was in a very bad car wreck. She had severe head trauma, paralyzed on one side, was in a coma, on life support and the doctors were doing everything they could to keep her alive.

She lived on the machines with oxygen being forced into her lungs,  remaining in the coma for several months. Family members, ministers would go visit her and pray, and talk to her and be positive in the room because they say coma patients can hear what you say.

Finally, the family and the doctors both agreed that there was nothing they could do to change her situation. There didn’t seem to be any brainwave activity, she was basically laying on the bed not moving, the only sounds in the room were the beeps and hums of the machines that kept her breathing. They decided to take her off the machines and oxygen.

About an hour later she woke up.  She still had some difficulties with motor skills being partially paralyzed, but she was alive. Her eyes were open, and she could interact with the doctors, family, and friends. She went back to school.

She ended up graduating high school with honors.

Life for her seemed hopeless. It seemed over. There was nothing anyone could do. But God…

Let God

When God steps into the picture your situation is going to change. One way or other change is coming.

Facing sickness, even death? Financial needs? Relationship problems? Need a job? Discouraged? Lost in sin?

Whatever the circumstance may be, we can only do so much, and most things are simply out of our control. There may not be anything we can do about it. It is easy to get upset, worry, let our emotions get the best of us and most of the time we just try and take care of everything on our own, after all ‘we know best.’

But God can transform the situation. He can taken the most dire circumstance and make it turn out for His glory. Give it to Him. Get your victory!

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He Can Roar But He Can’t Hurt You!

A few days ago I saw a video that at first made me jump, and then made me smile.  A little girl was at a zoo and a lion was roaring, pawing at the window, ready to attack her, and the little girl stood there.

At this particular zoo there was glass between the animals and people instead of the usual bars I am used to and so it was all the more heart jumping action as I wondered just how strong that glass was. I  remarked to someone after watching the video how that little girl was amazing, and seemed to have no fear.

An angry, hungry lion in full-on attack mode and three year old Sofia stood her ground. You can see the video clip here.

Fear Not!

How many times as Christians have we heard those words. Fear Not! Seems like over the years maybe thousands of times? Yet, a storm will break out, a trial will come upon us, and our faith is shaken, our fears rise to the surface, and we wonder how we are going to make it.

It has been said that the phrase ‘fear not’ appears in the Bible 365 times. I am not sure of the accuracy of that, but between other similar references it is very clear that we are told to not be afraid of what may come along. 

As Christians our banner is Faith, and so it would be logical that we cannot have faith and still be fearful, but we too are human and fall into the grasp of the faint of heart when trials and tests come our way. I too fall prey to my fears at many times. It is easy to do.

However, one would think that over time, and many trials we would begin to realize that no matter what happens we are going to be okay.

Oh Ye Of Little Faith

Those were the words that came out of Jesus’ mouth when He was awakened by His disciples to calm the storm on the Sea of Galilee. Now, if anyone should have faith, you would think the very ones who walked and talked with Jesus, even ate dinner with Him should have faith. They should know everything was going to be okay. But falling into their own doubts, after a great miracle I might add, they woke Him to ‘Master, careth not that we perish?’

How many times have we done the same thing?

We love the worship, the singing, the dancing, the shouting, but let a little storm come into our life and we wonder where is God? 

Right There With Us

Matthew 28:20 states, ‘Lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.’  He is right there in every situation with his protecting hand to shield us from harm.

Little Sofia knew that glass was between her and the lion. Sure, at first she reacted to the roar, but she stood her ground. She knew she was going to be okay. 

Many times in life, the enemy comes roaring and pawing at us, ready to destroy us. His roars get louder and his attacks seem more fierce as we face him, to the point it looks like he will devour us.

1 Peter 5:8 says the ‘devil goes about as a roaring lion seeking who he may devour.’ He would like to destroy us.  He wants to wreck our life, but more importantly, destroy our soul. He doesn’t like the freedom we can have in Jesus.

We can sugar coat it if we like, but there is a devil and he doesn’t want us having what he cannot. So he might come into our lives, roar and paw at us to try and get us to break. If can get us to stop believing in the power of the cross, the blood of Jesus and His love, then perhaps he can win.

Standing Firm

Galatians 5:1 says, ‘stand therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ has made us free.’  We have freedom and liberty because Jesus Christ took our sins and hung on Calvary that we might be free from the bondage of sin and death. We can take hope that His grace truly is sufficient for us.

If we have taken on Christ, and are covered by His blood, nothing can shake us. Isaiah wrote, ‘I have engraved you in the palms of my hands.’ We are protected by our Creator against any attack of the enemy.

Just Keep Standing

That lion kept roaring and pawing at little Sofia in the video. It wanted to attack her or at the very least scare her. A lot of us would have run crying, maybe even screaming from that lion. But she seemed fearless. Why?

She knew that between her and the lion, there was a protective barrier. That lion could not touch her. No matter how much the lion roared, it was not going to get through that barrier.

Our enemy is the same way. He can roar, he can paw, he can do all sorts of things to make us afraid but he cannot do anything to us when we are protected and bought with the blood of Jesus Christ. The enemy is powerless against the blood.

The End Of The Story

I am not sure how it all played out after, but at the end of the video clip, the lion is standing there watching that little three year old girl.

I wonder what was going through its mind?

This tiny creature who he could probably eat with one bite, stood there against the roar, against the pawing. There was nothing the lion could do.

It is the same with our lives. The enemy can roar at us, but cannot do anything when we are protected by God. Just a bunch of noise, and in the end, we will still be okay.

Sofia wants to go to the zoo, again, for her 4th birthday.

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More Than...

In the church I attend in Alaska one of the duties I have is leading prayer meetings and give direction on what I have learned, or am learning about prayer. Sometimes, I talk about how to pray, but each month I also write a newsletter in which I attempt to give some keys or insight to a greater prayer life. I had planned to do the same this month, but the Lord woke me up in the middle of the night with this message and I would like to share it with you.

We would have to be locked up in some closet not to recognize that this is the holiday season. Our lives are filled with spending time with family and friends, running to the stores, pushing our way thru the crowds, or even getting up entirely too early to attempt to get that one item that Walmart has marked down in a marketing scheme to get us in the door. They may only have one of two of these items that are gone first thing as the crowd pushes their way in, but it gets us in the doors, and then we end up spending more than we can afford on items we won't even remember a week or two after Christmas is over, with the exception of the bills.

It is also the time of year, when regardless of our personal religious beliefs, we can find displays and ornaments, and our thoughts turn to the birth of Christ. I realize we can get easily caught up in all the commercialization, Santa Claus, and all the amazing food items that never seem to be out except at this time of year, but for most of us we also remember the baby in the manger.

When Jesus was born it wasn't in a hospital; he didn't have doctors, and Mary didn't go through prenatal classes. There wasn't a sterile room with rubber gloves and gowns abundant. He didn't even have a midwife to deliver him. The bible doesn't specify who delivered Jesus, but only exclaims that he was born. We know he was born in a borrowed stable. We know that they laid him in a manger which the reality is, was the place the cattle got their food. He didn't have pressed linen sheets, or even a pillow. He will forever be known as the baby in the manger. For some of us, that is all we see him as, just the baby in the manger. Saints been down in awe to this baby; this icon of what is good about all of us before we are corrupted with cares of life, and we esteem him as a miracle and perfect. While we all seem amazed by his birth, some of us stop right there and never see him as anything else, but he is so much more than the baby in the manger.

Scripture and tradition teach us that Joseph was a carpenter, and thus when Jesus came of age it was only common for the sons to learn the trade of their father. Jesus probably spent untold hours sweeping, sanding, putting together wood to make something of use. In those days, carpenters not only helped in construction of housing, but also in the very furniture that would be in that house. Jesus may have had his own work bench where he would carve, saw, and hammer a piece of wood into something of use. Perhaps he made chairs or tables, and many of his day only saw him as the carpenter's son. He was so much more than a carpenter's son though, and history has told us so.

We read that he went about doing good, teaching in the synagogues and on the hillsides. He astounded the teachers and theologians at an early age with his knowledge of laws and scripture. There are many passages that speak of him as a rabbi, or teacher, and he could tell stories with the best taking the examples from life as he would instruct those who listened in steps to lead a productive, successful life. He taught so even the little children could understand how they should go about their day and grow into adulthood with purpose. If he was alive today, I am certain he would be on the best seller list, and people would buy his self help books to go on the shelf with all the other wisdom that ends up there. He was a great teacher, and some would spend hours, go without food even just to hear him teach, but he was so much more than just a teacher.

Some didn't come to hear him teach, but rather to see what he would do. To many he was a magician, a seer, a miracle worker. They came to watch the show, or perhaps even be involved in it. We read with astonishment and maybe even a smile about the time he fed the five thousand, or when he raised Jarius daughter from the dead. See, they knew where to come when they had problems, when they didn't know where else to turn. Even his closest flowerers, his disciples, whom he would teach more in-depth, who should have realized that he was giving them a great gift, saw him many times as just the one who could fix things when they were in trouble. To most, he was just the one who did the miracles, but he was so much more than the miracle worker.

I have had a copy of the passion movie on my desk for more than a year. I have planned to watch it. I have heard many stories about how close the real deal it must have been. The scenes of agony and and powerful testament of what took place has been shown by Hollywood to be more real than ever before. I like anyone else have seen bits and pieces online, but I often wonder why I never seem to have time to watch the movie. It has went with me on several airline flights but remained in my bag, and someday I will watch it, but he is so much more than just the depiction of his struggles with humanity and praying in the garden, tempted and abused by the people of his day.

We can read the passages of scripture ourselves, where he wanted someone to just pray with him for an hour when the religious right of his day conspired with the government to do away with this man that is upsetting their plans. We read about how he was beaten, carried his own cross up a criminal's trail to a hill where they hammered nails into his hands and feet and stuck him in a hole, naked before all humanity, to die for his transgressions of trying to help others. History has cleaned up the story; it was so much more brutal than we can imagine, and they have given us and image of this pretty cross with a man hanging on it dressed in some sort of garment as he died there on Golgotha.

I can relate with most people as to the power of the cross, and many of us have preached about it, and some religious entities have made the cross into an icon that they hang on the wall, wear around their neck, or put in a place of honor in their cathedrals. They look to the image of a man hanging on a cross to find strength in times of trouble, to restore hope, and as a companion, while most of the time, the words of this man sit idly on a shelf somewhere collecting dust. At Christmas, or any time of the year you can find all sorts of icons, images, idols of Jesus on the cross, or the cross itself as a reminder of what he did for us. While it is a powerful image, he isn't that little idol; he isn't on that cross you carry around, and even though he died on a cross and we all know he rose again, he is so much more than the man on the cross.

Most of us make an effort to attend some sort of worship service each week, where we will sing, pray, listen to someone talk about some passage in the bible that is usually meant to be uplifting and a way to feel the humanity of Jesus. We tell the different bible stories of old, how David killed the giant, Jonah and his big fish, Jesus walking on the water. We sing songs praising his name, his blood, the significance of the price he paid as we embrace who he was, and how his life has changed the destiny of most who listen. A lot of us get this idea that if we go to church on Sunday, and listen to the preacher then we become good people, and of course good people go to heaven. There were times when we listened and our hearts were pierced with the suffering of our savior, but these days of more modern influences, it has become more about the social aspects, the gathering together, and perhaps the prayer for our needs. We reflect on Jesus, and we have ministers who can make him come alive with stories, but the truth of the matter is Jesus is more than what we do on Sunday.

I am sure by now, some are a bit rattled in what I am writing, and yes I do believe he is all of these things. I myself have known him as a healer. I depend on him to supply my needs. The scriptures tell us to. We are taught to cast our cares on him; trust in the Lord with all our might; if we have a need to take it to him. Growing up in a preacher's home I saw many miracles over the years. Broken bodies have been healed by the power of his name; families have been put back together; in times of dire financial straits, somehow the money has just been there. Even now I pray for my own healing and restoration of my body, spirit, life, and ministry after some terrible circumstances have changed my life forever. I pray for my family and friends, all the while believing that God is going to give them what they need. God has shown me revival in churches soon to come. He has showed me that certain people I know are going to be healed to such a magnitude that right now they are not able to comprehend it. He has shown me things that are set to transpire in my own life, that even I have a hard time accepting. He is so many things to all of us, and yet he is so much more.

More than...
a baby in a manger
a carpenter's son
a good teacher
a prophet
a miracle worker
the man on the cross
the one who rose again
an image on a cross
strength in need
something to do on Sunday
a song or message
a memory of what he has done
a celebration time
even more than our savior
anything we can imagine

He is still more...

It is easy in our circumstances or trials to forget how powerful Jesus really is. Sometimes we become so complacent with the day to day, that we forget him. Even when we are doing good ourselves helping humanity, leading others to him, we can sometimes forget just who he really is.

I used to sing specials in church and there were times when I would feel God leading me to minister in song to let others know he is there. One of my favorite songs was "More than Enough." My dad would play the piano, and I would sing and I would see tears on even the most wounded spirit as they remembered that he really is enough to take care of their circumstance. Many times if we are not in the midst of the trial, then we tend to overlook the power of his deity, the strength he gives in the midst of the storms and that welcome hug when we have nowhere else to turn to. If we haven't been thru times of crisis, we cannot really appreciate just how "More than.." he really can be.

I used to hear people talk about how Jesus was this or that, and many times to me I didn't fully get it. I knew he could do anything; I knew he healed; I knew he supplied; I knew he saved, but I didn't fully grasp just how 'more than..' he really was until I faced hardships in my own personal life. Faced with situations in which I had no control I agonized over how I was going to make it. It seemed just when one part of life got better another part got worse, and it has been a long battle. There have been days I thought I couldn't get out of bed anymore; days where I questioned God and his methods; situations where I really just felt like giving up. I still face things that I don't have the answers to, I don't know the outcome, and can be very fearful. However, in the midst of all of this, there is a depth in God that I feel that I could not have known had I not been thru that trial.

I know some are going thru devastating illness and burdens that seem to have no end, but I am living proof to say, he is More than Enough.

He's more than enough, more than enough,
He is el shaddi, the God of plenty,
The all sufficient one, God almighty,
He is more than enough.

No matter the trial you are in, no matter the questions you have about God, no matter what others might think about God, He is more than enough for any situation. He is more than just a baby in a manger.

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When God Isn't Enough

I am sure some have seen the title and already are judging and saying that God is always enough, but before you respond, read what I have written.
We preach it, sing it, shout it from the mountains that God is enough. He has the ability to carry us, provide, deliver, heal, and provide all we need. While that is true, there are times when God is not enough.

Maybe to some I am having a pity party, but I am not alone in that.

I am going thru things right now that are crushing me beneath the weight. Some of you may know some of it; very few know most of it, and no one knows all of it, but me and God. As a general rule, I stay vague about myself. I am not looking for sympathy, and I do my best to keep my private life private. I guess in a way you could say I am bipolar, because what most of you know about me online is not the complete me if you knew me personally. However, I will not share all of it, but there are times when God is not enough, and I want to explain why I feel that way. I do this with great trepidation but, I am tired of bottling it up.

I have had health issues a long, long time. Almost fourteen years have gone by since I found myself going from healthy, comfortable, and constantly ministering, to where I was too sick to get off a couch. It was a literal hell. Doctors couldn't figure it out. Family and friends walked away, and the church... well they acted like I was a leper. I won't go into more of that now, but maybe someday.

After several years of the loneliness that comes from multiple health issues and people not knowing what to say when God doesn't heal, a friend came into my life. She was apostolic, involved in a music ministry, and at the time she became my everything. Within a few months she rescued me and took me to where she lived, married me of course, and changed my life forever. I loved her children as my own, and for the past several years, they have been my children.

Somehow, we ended up back where I was from, and we came with no preconditions. Since my wife was vey musically talented, she offered to help, and I offered to help any way I could. I had at one time assisted the former pastor. I knew the ropes. I could offer advice, or do whatever was asked of me. Somehow, they got the idea, not from us, that we were there to 'take over' as someone so nicely put it. That was never the plan, there was no plan. However, from that moment, we were treated as outsiders from most in the church and especially the pastor. I didn't understand it. I tried to pray about it, seek advice, but none of it mattered.

I did what I could, but I sat on the sidelines and watched that church die. Oh, it still has a pulse, but its not at all what it used to be, or what it could be. Don't offer to help though. Unless you have deep pockets you won't be considered.
I know I sound bitter, and perhaps I am a little.

Anyhow, over the past couple years, after seeking the mind of God about leaving, staying, or what to do in general, my wife and I decided to start a church. It wasn't just about how we were treated, people were showing up at our house who we didn't know and asking us about God. We did a lot of soul searching, tried to leave, prayed for a new minister to come, did everything because we did not want to start trouble.

However, last spring, everything started falling into place. Someone I had never met called and offered to pay six months on a building if I could find one. My wife was excited, telling friends at work, people in the grocery stores, and planning to take a big family photo and splash it all over the newspaper.

It was exciting, we found a building we could use for up to five services a month for $250.00.

Three weeks later, my wife comes home from work, tells me she and the kids are moving to Texas, she has another 'man' and that we should have never been married. Around the same time, the doctors diagnosed me with leukemia.

My whole world crumbled.

I tried to find comfort in the church, but I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. It was basically non-existant. It still is. Yes, I still go to church, but for the most part I don't see any reason to. The few people at church who do talk to me are 'praying for you.' Although there are those who tell me the leukemia and the divorce is because I am in rebellion to the pastor, or that I must be running from God.

Please understand, I know I am not the only one who goes through trials, I know I am not the only one who is sick. I also know that when I had friends going through things, I was there for them. I do not understand why they cannot be there for me.

There is a lot of things I do not understand, and yet, his word gives direction to issues like these but it seems that part of the bible does not matter.

Bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.

For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.

For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not. Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee? Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.

I guess what I am trying to say is we cannot pick and choose which scriptures we listen to. I have served God my entire life. I grew up on a church pew, I have been a minister, evangelist, sunday school teacher and director, youth pastor, and on and on. Yet, I am like so much drivel tossed aside when trouble came to me.

And I wonder, is it just me? Did I do something to deserve this? Or is this how everyone from new convert to elderly saint gets treated when the 'church' doesn't know what to say?

You don't know how it will change someone's life to invite them out for supper. Or perhaps see if they want to go shopping with you, or maybe take them a loaf of home baked bread, or a pie. But instead, we get so caught up in our own lives we neglect the ones who need us the most, because, we must be about the work of the Lord.

Does anyone visit the widows and orphans anymore? Does anyone still visit the sick, the backslider, or send them a card or anything? We can pray til we have no words left to say, but sometimes all that is needed is a listening ear, and it seems no one has that anymore.

I know you think I am whining. Kind of like Elijah did, Moses did, David did, Joseph, Jeremiah, Jonah... and yes, even Jesus was lonely. He just wanted someone to spend a little time with him in prayer, but they couldn't make the effort. We all think we are the one who is different. If we were the one asked.. we'd be the first to do everything to help.

I joined everyonesapostolic with that in mind. I needed someone to confide in. I needed a listening ear, and maybe some advice. I had never been thru a divorce before, let alone leukemia. I knew there were other apostolics online who had been thru things, so I decided to try it out.

I made a couple of 'close' friends who I was willing to listen to and I opened up to them some as well. I was finding strength in the midst of the storm. I had a shoulder to lean upon if only online or a phone call. I started seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. One called me almost daily to make sure I was doing good; went so far as to invite me to move to where they were, and even had me talk to their child on the telephone. They gave me reason to believe I mattered, and that they wanted to be a part of my life, even if it was hard. But just like always, in a flash they were gone. The three I opened myself up to, trusted, and gave me a glimmer disappeared in the dust.

I guess that is the way it is. Maybe I shouldn't trust anyone. Maybe I should just live a solitary life, because it seems that anyone who gets close to me, God yanks away. I find myself wondering what is wrong with me? But is it really me? Is it God? Or have we become so content with who we have become that we ignore those who need a lift once in a while? Is our own wants so important that we don't care who we hurt in the way to our goal?

I am sure there are some of you after you read this will turn and walk away and I will never hear of you again. Why should you be any different? If we are not always happy go lucky, take it all in stride, don't make waves, then no one wants to get close. I understand that. I don't like negative people.

But I am tired of complacency. I am tired of bottled up anger or grief. I am tired of talking to people who are literally going thru hell and trying to help them out when I have a hell of my own to contend with. I am tired of being vulnerable only to have it shoved in my face. I am tired of hearing about miracles, I want to see one in my own life.

Does any of this sound familiar to anyone else? Am I the only one who feels this way? I seriously doubt it.

I guess the answer I have been searching for is to not let anyone close. Just shut my mouth, not make waves, and just take it like a man. Maybe I am just not worthy.

It is a new generation. We are in a sinking ship, and there are only a couple of life preservers left, and no one is willing to take a chance that they are the one who can save someone else. Life perservers can usually hold a lot of weight. Would it hurt to help someone else stay afloat for a bit? All it would take is wrapping your arms around them and letting them know you will help them hang on.

Naw. Let them sink. It's what everyone else does.

Could God create a boat just for them? Sure. Could he bring about a miracle just for the one in need? Sure. Could he change the situation? Sure. But sometimes, he needs our help.

There is nothing like the feeling when that person you brought to church gets the holy ghost. There is nothing like the feeling, when the person you prayed and fasted for gets their miracle. There is nothing like a hug to someone who is lonely.

Can God do it himself. Sure. But just like God cannot make anyone love him, he cannot make anyone love us. There are times when even God isn't enough.

He hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him. He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise him; he hath put him to grief.

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